Bibs in the City

Twas the night before first day of camp and MAMA is freaking OUT!

2011-07-24T23:05:00.003-04:00

A couple of months ago we entered a raffle at an event at Ben's school and surprise surprise we won. Our prize was a free week of Summer camp. Now please understand that we had absolutely no intention of sending Ben to camp but it was a free week and given the obscene price of tuition we were not going to turn down anything free this place is willing to offer us. Besides I told myself it would be great preparation for the first day of school - you know preparation for separation anxiety (mine not his).

So here we are the night before camp and I am absolutely a mess. Hubby is away on a business trip and I am trying my hardest to do my happy camp dance for Ben - all the while I am trying to hold back the tears. Tell me somebody how the hell did this possibly happen so fast? Where did these last three years go? And how do these camp people possibly think he will be okay without me - are they nuts??

Let me back up - when we won this prize I spoke to the camp person and told him that since Ben would only be attending for a week I would clear my schedule and attend with him - no sense to make the transition when we would have to do it all over again in the Fall. Seems logical to me - anyway camp person called this weekend to let me know that I would not be able to stay with Ben the entire time because the other kids may want their mommies too! Hmmmm interesting twist - camp person did inform me that they have a "special" room for "special" parents who do not want to leave their kids where parents can stay in the building and have coffee and bagels. Okay so he is trying to calm me down with caffeine and carbs two of my favorite things but still seriously I am supposed leave him - alone - in a room without me - WHAT?!?!? In the interest of full disclosure Ben has been running around the house all night packing his back pack screaming "I am so excited about camp" all night - so this freak out is really mine and mine alone.

I would like to know where in the attachment parenting handbook is the chapter that explains how one is supposed to separate from their baby. You know the part where you are supposed to function independently of your child for 4 whole hours - where is that section? Because somehow I am supposed to do something tomorrow that I have never done before - leave my son in the care of someone I do not know with a bunch of other kids and happily go to the next room and drink coffee and eat bagels and be completely okay with this.

The truth is my heart will break as my little boy, this perfect human that John and I have created goes into his little camp room - but my heart will also at the very same time be filled with immense pride and happiness. And that's what this whole parenting thing is - a freakin emotional roller coaster of fear, love, joy and freak outs. As much as I want to keep him with me forever I want to see him go out into the world and be the happiest kid he can be and that is what tomorrow is all about.

Happy first day of camp Ben - mommy will try very hard to keep it together!

Working while living with a 3 year old

2011-06-24T12:49:00.004-04:00

Dear Ben,
One day when you are reading these stories about our life you may notice that mommy's blog posts have become much more scarce - well the reason for that dear son is not because our life has become dull quite the contrary - life with a 3 year old is so much fun - but because mommy has been working on her business more and mommy is not so good at multi tasking - I hope you do not inherit this trait.

While the guilt is getting to me I must tell you son that it is only two days a week and you have a great time with the nanny and if it ever becomes more than two days a week I promise that daddy will tweak his schedule so that you will always have one of us. I also promise that you will always come first and I will do everything in my power so that my schedule is always such that I am here for you - because nothing is more important than you my love.

Life with you since you have turned 3 has been ridiculously fun. You have found your ability to use logic and let me tell you my friend you are very good at it. You have reasoned that you will stay in diapers until you are ready to get rid of them and you promised to let me know when that it it -and true to your word you have been trying but that's a story all of its own. You sense of humor has really started to shine through - you are constantly "getting" me and daddy and you make us laugh at least 3 times a day.

You now fully understand things - which brings me back to the guilt of working. Oh you understand that sometimes mommy has to work and when I walk out of the house all dressed up for a meeting you are the first to give me a kiss and tell me that I look beautiful but you also tell me that you will miss me and to hurry back. You and I have a lot of growing to do in the next couple of months - you are about to start pre-school and mommy is about to work 5 days a week (1/2 days buddy will always come get you from school) and somehow we are going to have to get used to the idea of not being together for half the day every day. I hope that this will be harder on me than on you. But for now we don't have to worry about any of that - for now we will cherish this Summer because it is the last Summer of just "us" before the working and the school stuff gets in the way. So let's go out and play:)

Love,
Mommy

Dear Ben.........(last day of being 2)

2011-05-19T17:14:00.001-04:00

Today marks the last day of Ben being 2 years old - tomorrow he will be 3 officially a big boy, a pre-schooler, an actual kid - not an infant, baby or toddler but kid - so I have decided to start a tradition - to write a letter to my son every year on the day before his birthday and since I am the author of this blog I can pretty much do whatever I want so there you have - new tradition - official!

Dear Ben,
It is so hard for me to believe that today is your last day or being two. This year flew by in a blink - it really seems that it was yesterday that you were in my belly kicking me and squeezing my bladder with your cute little hands making me run to the bathroom every 2 seconds. And then one day shy or three years ago the most amazing thing happened - you were born. I remember your first cry, the first time I held you and and how incredibly you smelled. I remember holding you in the hospital and saying "happy birthday" to you - it's so hard to believe that tomorrow your daddy and I will be saying happy birthday to you for the fourth time.

I look at you and am constantly in awe of what an incredible person you are - you are kind, sensitive, caring, so very smart and you have developed one hell of a sense of humor - kid you are hilarious! You also happen to have the world's best temperament - last year they all started warning me about the terrible twos - well they were all so wrong - you have never thrown a temper tantrum and you have never done any of the other really annoying things I see other 2 year olds do. You are willful but not defiant, you are stubborn but you can be reasoned with, you love instant gratification but you have learned patience - you are the greatest person I have ever known.

This year was HUGE - your vocabulary grew - as a matter of fact you sound more like a 5 year old than a 2 year old, we went through a very LONG process finding the perfect school for you for the Fall and you had a lot of input in our decision, you learned so many new things. And I have come to accept that you really do like the finer things in life like 5 star hotels, crab and kobe beef but why shouldn't you - you deserve the best. You are a mischievous little guy - always pulling pranks and finding ways to surprise me when I least expect it and always making me laugh.

Being your mother has been so easy and so wonderful because you are so very easy to love. I am so blessed to have you for a son. I love you more than I can ever say and I cannot wait to see what life is like with a 3 year old. Now of course all the same people who told me about the terrible twos are starting in saying that 3 is worst than two - and I say bring it on - because every minute of every day that I spend with you is nothing short of pure joy and because you are the greatest little boy in the world.

Mommy is so proud of you and cannot wait to see what's ahead for us. Happy Birthday dear sweet baby.

All my love,
Mama

First F Bomb

2011-05-11T12:29:00.002-04:00

Well it's happened - just a few weeks shy of his 3rd birthday my baby - my sweet little angel dropped his first F bomb. Now as with most things parenting related it was one of those moments where I was torn between two emotions - laughing hysterically or extreme worry that my child would be the potty mouth in pre-school next year - so I well laughed I had to it was so funny.

So there we were the three of having dinner like we do every night. John and I were talking about something - Ben was sitting at the head of the table holding his bread and attempting to spread butter on it (yes we let him use a butter knife - he has impressive hand eye coordination - very advanced for his age) and then we heard it. While spreading his butter a piece of it fell on Ben's shirt and he exclaims very loudly "F@@king Butter!" There was such anger in his tone and it was very clear that he meant it and then he said it a second time "F@@king Butter!"

So what's a parent to do?!?! Well I don't know what others do but I had to laugh - I couldn't help it - it was FUNNY!!! I also knew that if Ben saw me laugh then he would think that "F@@king" was the new funny and would say it over and over again...so I did what any logical person would do I walked over to the fridge pretended to get something and berried my head in the milk container and laughed (really really hard).

Once I was able to control myself (it took a little while) we had a very serious discussion about the "F@@king butter". John who did not think this was nearly as funny as I did wanted to know where Ben heard that word - I was the number one suspect but we decided to blame the tv. In fairness to me - I must admit that I have made a conscious effort to clean up the potty talk since becoming a mom but truth be told I have been known to slip but it was still the tv.

We calmly explained to Ben that this was not a nice word and although he did use it in the right context he should not say it. Ben wanted to know "why?" we told him it was a bad word and kids shouldn't use it - this did not seem to be an adequate explanation so we distracted him with a cookie - thank god that still works. I think the key here was to not make a big deal about it and hope that he does not say it again. But if I end up getting called into the headmaster's office next year because my baby said "F@@king butter" at lunch then so be it - it's pretty f@@king funny!

Accepted!!!!!

2011-03-12T17:45:00.004-05:00

We did it!! We got accepted into the mother of all Montessori schools - our first choice. The long, tedious and at times hilarious process was all worth it. Our baby boy got into the school of our choice - somehow we just knew from the first visit that this was the right place for him and we have been patiently (not really) waiting for then to send us their decision. While we were convinced that this was a great fit there was always the reality that there just may not be space (100 applicants for 3 spots) - very slim odds. But we beat the odds and we are officially going to pre-school in the Fall.

We were spending the afternoon packing for our annual family vacation when out of nowhere John walked into the room holding a LARGE envelope with a huge smile on his face. The man was beaming with pride and then he just looked at me and said "we got in". My reaction was typical for me - I grabbed the envelope from his hand read the letter (well really just the first paragraph which starts with 'Congratulations and welcome') and proceeded to jump up and down.

I felt such pride and such joy - I am so proud of my baby boy he just continues to amaze me every single day. And while I know that come September this is not going to be an easy transition I am thrilled that he will be going to the best pre-school in our area and getting an incredible education.

I realize that to some I sound like a total loon. I am jumping up and down at a pre-school acceptance letter but this is a big deal. It is Ben's first educational experience and I think it is so important that it's a positive experience. If he is going to be going to school I want it to be a place where he will thrive and this school is definitely that place. And yes I know that it's pre-school and not college but it is the first step towards college - our first step.

I now know the pride my parents must have felt when I was accepted to college and then graduate school. As a parent the accomplishment feels like it's ours too - our genes, our nurturing, our teaching all those things have shaped my son into a smart, caring and happy boy. John and I were so scared to mess this parenting thing up - we realized we were given perfection and tried really hard not to screw it up and guess what people we are actually doing it right. Hard to believe I am the proud parent of a pre-schooler but it's true.

So now the fun begins - planning for the first day, first school play, first parent teacher conference and oh god do I even dare say it the first time Ben and I will be separated for more than 3 hours.............we'll be okay - I hope.

This is a shot of John walking Ben to his interview at the school - there will be many more walks like this in our future.

Pre-School Interviews Complete -now we wait

2011-03-07T15:16:00.005-05:00

We have been busy the last couple of months. We have completed our round of interviews to the two pre-schools we selected out of the 12 we looked at. My amazing, brilliant, incredible son did better than I could have ever dreamed at both interviews. I am so proud of him but this next step is going to be so very hard.

The Montessori interview process is what I expected it to be - the child is expected to choose toys from a shelf play with them, demonstrate that he has an attention span higher than a gnat, clean up after himself and then put the toy back and choose another. The parent is expected to demonstrate some sort of understanding of the Montessori principles, show that they too have an attention span higher than a gnat, and that they understand the value of an education.

I think that all three of us nailed both interviews. Ben is much more advanced than the average 2 1/2 year old, he is more verbal, he is smarter and let's be honest way cuter than any other child I have ever seen. And John and I are well awesome!!! Who wouldn't want us as part of there school?!?! I will admit that with all our preparation, all our research, our many discussions about pre-school both with Ben and with each other I was completely unprepared for what I saw.

Ben did everything he was supposed to and beyond - he chose his toys from the shelf, he played with them for a significant amount of time and he impressed both us and the interview lady by showing off his skills and naming shapes we did not know he knew and counting higher than we thought he could (I credit these secret learning skills to Diego and Caillou - yes I believe in letting your child watch tv). But what amazed me most of all - what I was so completely unprepared for was how independent my son really is. He LOVES school - did not want to leave either interview -asked if he could stay longer and go back the next day. He played independently and followed instructions and never looked back at me or John not once.

And at every interview my heart broke into a million pieces. Now I know that this is a good thing - it's good that he LOVES school, it's good that he is comfortable with other adults and it's great that he wants to learn. But what I was forced to realize was that my baby, my little tiny baby is now a pre-schooler. It means that somehow we did this parenting thing right, it means that he is a well adjusted kid, it means that he is growing up. Everyone told us to enjoy the baby time it flies by - but you never really know what that means until you wake up one day 27 months after giving birth to this perfect creature realize that you are no longer the parent of a baby you now have an actual kid. You never realize that those months which seemed so long while they were happening actually went by in seconds.

I find myself so incredibly grateful that I have been home with Ben to experience every moment but I wish I savored it more because it all just passes so very fast. So now here we are - the proud parents of a pre-schooler and now we wait for the letters to arrive to see which one of these schools is going to be lucky enough to be in the presence of the greatness that is Ben.....

Ben 2.5

2010-12-24T12:57:00.009-05:00

This post is about a month late but better late than never. On November 20, 2010 our son turned 2 1/2 and because I LOVE birthdays and birthday parties I decided to make a HUGE deal out of this. We believe that our child has his own opinions so naturally we asked him what he wanted to do on his 1/2 birthday and he told us that without a doubt he wanted to go on a pony ride - so that is exactly what we did....

The only place that we know of in our area that has pony rides is the place we go apple picking out in the burbs - so we got up early 9:30 am (early for us) and off we went. We drove the 45 minutes out of the city and pull into the parking and Ben was so excited - as we are pulling in we realize we are the only car in the parking lot. But I am stubborn so I insist we keep going... after a few minutes I realized that the farm was closed for the season. CLOSED are they kidding me why didn't they send a memo, an e-mail something to let us know - who do they think they are. My son needs to ride a pony how could they do this to us?!?!

We had to explain to Ben that the pony ride was just not happening because the ponies were cold and could not come out to play. My son, my perfect angel little boy teared up and said "mommy I am so disappointed". OMG the dagger to the heart. We created this perfect little human and we managed to disappoint him at 2 1/2 years old we are the worst. So John and I racked our brains to try and fix it - we started googling pony rides in Massachusetts on our phones - we were prepared to drive all over the state to make this happen. We finally decided to turn around and go back to Boston and find horses. We went downtown and found a merry go round and then we walked around Fanuel Hall in search of a horse and buggy ride for our perfect little 2 1/2 year old boy. Thankfully we found our horse and buggy ride and mommy and daddy managed to save the day. With the guilt of almost failing as parents we let Ben pick out any toy he wanted - he chose to go to build a bear and make a stuffed monkey and dress as Buzz Lightyear (his hero).

So there we were confronted with our first experience of feeling guilt for almost disappointing our son and I have to say this time we fixed it - I hope that as Ben gets older we continue to be able to fix any disappointment he may have because my child should never ever feel disappointed again. Happy 2 1/2 birthday my precious little man you are my heart and I love you more than you could ever know.

Pre-School 101 Part Seven - the Conclusion

2010-11-09T14:09:00.003-05:00

Today was the last of our many school visits - this search has been exhausting I am still shocked at how few pre-schools there are in this area but now we are done. Yesterday we spent the morning at what we thought was another co-op - we walked into a church and where we had to step over a homeless person to get to the stairs that take us to the school. There we were greeted by a parent who informed us that the director went out on a coffee run and will be back shortly. We were lead into her office - messy is an understatement for the clutter that was this so-called office. We waited 15 minutes and I suggested that we leave because I had made up my mind that the homeless man upstairs and the nasty smell of mildew was enough to decide no thank you. I sent a nasty e-mail to the woman we were supposed to meet only to find out that we were in the wrong school - we laughed a bit but we now know that the co-op thing is not for us. This morning however was a different story.

We got up early - oh so early - and John convinced me to go to this one alone. This was a mini Montessori - just pre-school no elementary school. I could not believe how much I liked it. It was in a private home, totally spotless, 5 kids per teacher, the kids were clean, happy and involved in their projects. There were 4 year olds that were reading and working on their numbers it was adorable. The teachers seem excellent and everything I have read about the place gives them nothing but stellar reviews - so after meeting with the director I handed her our application with a smile.

So there you have it - in this long, very long journey (10 schools total) we have applied to two and they happen to be the first and the last we visited and they both happen to be Montessori. Looking back at this experience I have to say that I am glad that we pursued it the way we did. It was all worth it - from the French gestapo, the homeless and the drunks, the farmers, the preppies and the snotty Brits it was an experience not to be missed. We learned a lot - we learned that some parents are insane, that there are a number of philosophies in education (educators who ignore children and educators who do not) and that there are some seriously questionable institutions operating as pre-schools.

The bottom line is that we are Ben's parents and we know what is best for Ben.... So now we wait and we interview at these two great schools and see if they are lucky enough to spend 5 mornings a week with our amazing son. We have our first choice and I am glad that John and I are on the same page on that one. Worst case scenario I get to keep my baby home another year and for me that is not a bad scenario at all.

Pre-School 101 Part Six Father of Montessori

2010-11-07T17:26:00.004-05:00

This afternoon we had the opportunity to check out the Father of Montessori school which incidently turned out to be the opposite of the Mother of Montessori schools. We had high hopes for this place....we now know that we want Ben to go to a Montessori school, it was in the historic part of Boston, and its reputation is stellar. So off we went dressed in our Sunday best and ready to see a school that would no doubt be a close second to the mother of all Montessori school - we could not have been more wrong.

We arrived early (so not like us but daylight savings time had us ahead of schedule) and wandered around my old stomping grounds (I lived in historic Boston for 10 years pre-husband and pre-baby) having a great time. We walked into the open house full of hope - it "looked" promising - gorgeous brick building in the heart of the city surrounded by all my favorite stores -what's not to like. We checked in and I looked around and noticed that we were one of the only two couples who brought their child to the open house. This was very strange to me - why would all the other parents show up without their children and if both parents were there who was watching their kids?

We were quickly put into small groups and were guided through the elementary school - the larger of the two buildings - gorgeous rugs, beautiful furniture, state of the art equipment. We happily climbed five flights of very steep stairs and were lead into a classroom. There were no toys just student projects neatly laid out on the floor -very neatly. My happy go-lucky little guy ran around the room looking for toys and asking questions about EVERYTHING he saw. I happily chased him around the large rooms explaining things to him. We ended up in the science room and were greeted by the science "professor". I say professor because he proudly displayed his name tag with a Phd after his name and referred to himself as Dr. So and So. So there we were listening to Dr. So and So talk about beakers and experiments when Ben spotted the world's largest cockroach in a tank - how exciting was this. Ben yelled "mama that bug is HUGE" at the top of his lungs. I did what any normal mother would do and walked over to the tank with my baby and explored the grotesque creature. The only other couple that brought their kid was on our tour and the father showed his disgust at my son's load voice by giving me the world's dirtiest look - for which I quickly (not so accidentally) stepped on his foot. We were at an elementary school did he think that there would not be any kids - apparently so because there were two - his daughter and Ben. His daughter then asked if she can see the bug and he told her "no there is nothing there for you to see". Really really Mr. Uptight nothing for her to see -just the bug that will one day be her class pet - pretty big deal if you ask me. Here is a picture of Ben checking out the desks in the science room - the girl in the pic is Mr. Uptight's daughter (the only other child in the building) he did not allow her to try out the desks.

At this point we had seen about four classrooms and none of the teachers or administrators had acknowledged my son. They did not say hello to him, they did not talk to him at all. This does not sit well with me since you know they are elementary school teachers and probably should you know like kids. As we walk down the stairs to exit the large building and move along to the pre-school building the British couple in our tour group decides to talk to me.
British Mom: "How old is your lad?"
Me: He will be 2 1/2 at the end of the month
British Mom: "He's a verbal little fellow isn't he - my Charlie is about the same age and doesn't say a word - how did your nanny get him to speak so well?"
Me: He doesn't have a nanny I am home with him and I think he is so verbal because we read to him so much.
British Mom to her husband British Dad: "Love did you hear that she says he is so verbal because they read to him"
British Dad to British Mom: "Read to him did you say- well maybe we should ask the nanny to read to him."
British Mom to British Dad: "Darling do you think the nanny knows how to read English"
British Dad to British Mom: "Don't know love -perhaps we will ask her when he get home this evening."

Needless to say I am horrified on so many levels after hearing this but the tour continued. I learned that there is no outside space for the kids - they go out three times a week and walk along a major street filled with constant traffic to the city playground and play with inner city kids. Yeah like I might allow my 3 year old to cross major streets in Boston under the watchful eye of some twenty-something year old - so not going to happen and if I wanted him to play with inner city kids I would send him to public school and save myself $20,000 per year. I also learned that this school is SO Montessori - I am talking old school. While there is a great emphasis on independence they also believe in some structure (such an oxymoron) meaning that the children do have free choice and do not need permission to use the bathroom but they MUST go to the wall and put on a five pound wooded necklace (large wood block attached to a metal chain) which will let the teacher know what they are doing. For example if a child has to go to the bathroom they go to the wall and get the wooden necklace that has a block with a picture of a toilet, if they want snack then picture of an apple. No necklace = no freedom. At this point I cannot wait to get out of there but of course we still have to talk to Ben's perspective teacher - enter Mrs. Obnoxious. Mrs. Obnoxious informs me that children are dropped off at 8:15am and picked up at 11:30 am (seriously almost $20,000 and they are there for 3 hours are they serious) - tardiness is not accepted and since parking is a problem you are allowed to double park on the street to walk your child in but tickets will be issued if this takes longer that 3 1/2 minutes. Mrs. Obnoxious also tells me that they (the school) believe that separation from the parent should happen immediately - however, they recognize that this may be harder for some kids than others so she advised me to find a parking spot (an impossible task in Boston can take up to 3 hours the duration of the school day) and hang out at a local coffee shop or go get my nails done nearby so that they can call me on my cell in case Ben cries uncontrollably - they allow the crying for up to two hours and at that point either myself or the "nanny" "someone" MUST get him. Two hours - two hours Ben has never cried longer than two minutes two hours. Was she serious - what was wrong with this woman? Do people actually allow her to teach their children? Oh My God!!!!!

Needless to say we could not leave fast enough and while John wants to keep an open mind and go and observe a class I am pretty sure that this is not the place for Ben. They ignored him, the other parents are well morons, it is not safe for a 3 year old to wander around the streets of Boston and ummmm not a fan of their wooden necklaces or their drop off policy - so thanks but no thanks Father of Montessori schools.

Pre-School Part five Farm School

2010-11-05T15:46:00.003-04:00

So there we were yesterday going to what felt like out 100th open house (in reality just the 5th). John and I got up at the crack of dawn (for us 7:30am might as well be dawn) and off we went to check out Farm School. No it is not a school that teaches little kids how to be farmers - it is a pre-school located 45 minutes away from us (in traffic) that is on a working farm. We have been to enough of these that we have finally caught on that each and every one of these has a niche. Some offer an amazing education (ah mother of montessori schools how I love you), some offer the French gestapo as your teacher, some homeless people and drunks and this one offers a farm.

We drive down a very long private road and see an adorable red barn and a playground. We walk in and meet the director who I have to admit is a lovely woman full of personality and we sat in her office and told her how wonderful our son is. Interestingly on this tour we were pretty much left to our own devices and told to wander around and observe. So off we went from classroom to classroom. The kids looked happy and engaged in their respective projects. Science is the major focus here - they believe that kids learn best through exploration and questioning the world around them - I happen to agree.

After our self guided tour we met up with the director and learned some interesting facts - there are two sets of woods for the kids to play, each morning they gather eggs from the chickens, they are accompanied on their daily walks by a miniature horse and a donkey. They grow their own fruits and vegetables and the kids pick them in Spring. And if that was not great enough - they believe that the child should have a familiar face in the classroom when they come to school, so ready for this.. they send the child's teacher over to your house before school starts so that your child can get to know them and another bonus they completely understand that it may be difficult for parents and children to adjust to their first school experience so they encourage the parents to stick around as long as they want. This was all music to my ears......BUT.....

I did feel that the major focus was on science and not enough focus was given to reading and math. Also they start at oh my god 8:15 in the morning that is very very early for us and the day is over at noon which is also early. I mean by the time I would drop Ben off it would be time to pick him up. And while I can understand that this type of school is every kids paradise, I mean what kid would not want to go to school with chickens and ducks and horses and donkeys, I don't have enough information to tell me that this is not just a glorified petting zoo masquerading as a pre-school.

So the bottom line is that we still have our favorite and it has not changed but if for some odd reason our little genius is not accepted there this is not a terrible alternative..... MOO BA LALALA

T.O.Y Toy

2010-11-04T21:34:00.002-04:00

So there we are just the three of sitting around after dinner tonight - John clearing the table, me on the phone with my mother and all of a sudden Ben says "T.O.Y toy". At first I didn't hear him I was enthralled in my conversation I was having with my mother about sweaters and then John says "Oh My God - Ben can you repeat that" and he says it "T.O.Y. toy".

I couldn't believe my ears - grandma heard it over the phone and couldn't believe her ears either. I asked Ben to repeat it again "T.O.Y. toy mama - toy". I was in shock my little baby - my son who is not even 2 1/2 just spelled his first word - how is this possible. It has always been clear to us that Ben is smarter than the average child but we did not see this one coming.

I part of me is a bit scared - if he is spelling now what is he going to do in pre-school next year? Will they be able to stimulate him? Seriously spelling at 2 years old - this has to be a first. I am so proud of my little genius. He really is the best baby ever.

Happy Halloween

2010-11-01T12:12:00.006-04:00

John and I have always loved Halloween and since we have had Ben it has only gotten better. Ben loves knights so it was only appropriate that Ben be a royal knight and John and I be part of his court. I have often thought of John as my knight in shining armor and this year I got to see him in a way that I only just imagined.

Pre-School 101 Part four Prep School

2010-10-30T16:37:00.009-04:00

It seems that the last few weeks we have spent our mornings and weekends at schools for either interviews of open houses. While for many today was just another Saturday for us it was venturing into a territory unknown - Prep School..... Now I have to preface this by saying that John and I are kind of ivy snobs and for us this was a must on our search for Ben's perfect school. We love the idea of having our little darling educated by people who ALL attended Harvard, Princeton or Yale - and why not he deserves the best. We had some preconceived notions - we expected the campus to be gorgeous (and it was), we expected the teachers to be knowledgeable (and they were), we expected prospective parents to be well our kind of people (and were they ever). What was a little unexpected was that somehow Ben seemed to know that this was the creme de la creme of elementary schools.

The child really has an incredible knack for the finer things in life. He came out of the womb a bit of a yuppie snob (in a good way of course). When he was born we had a Volkswagon which he hated - cried every time he got in the car - so we did what every parent does we bought a Lexus "the mom mobile" and sure enough he loved it. We have only taken him to five star hotels and he knows how to behave like a perfect gentleman. He hates hats in the Winter time until I bought him a cashmere hat and mittens and sure enough he only wears that hat - somehow he just knows...

Our son, who is typically a bit shy in new situations, ran through that campus like he owned the place. He liked all of it - the four (that's right four) playgrounds, the incredible gym facility, the food (yes this place put out quite the spread), the state of the art toys and the headmaster and teachers. These people are smart and extremely organized. There was an actual schedule to the day, they focused completely on the kids and thanked them for bringing their parents. Now Ben thinks he is 2 going on 24 so he appreciated this part of the day. They put out balls on the basketball courts and they hand selected their teachers to look like super models which Ben also appreciated (what can I say the kid likes attractive women).

Because of the way the day was organized we were forced to divide and conquer. I spent part of the afternoon in teacher run seminars while John and Ben went on a tour of the grounds (that's right grounds) and checked out the classrooms. I learned that they believe in a child centered approach for elementary school and slowly progress into a more traditional approach in later years - which is exactly what I expected. Meanwhile, John and Ben scoped out the best toys and played basketball.

I also learned that there are parents out there that I can relate to - women who wear fashionable boots and cashmere sweaters (exactly what I happened to be wearing). People who look like they are fun and interesting and that we can actually be friends with and then I learned that these people drove in from the Back Bay in Boston or were originally from New York (it figures) but they are out there. I was actually starting to think that I was the only stay at home mom who didn't wear dumpy clothes and clogs - so glad I was wrong. The parents I met were people who want an amazing education for their children because well they themselves were educated in the best schools. I looked at the student tour guides - 8-10 year old boys and girls decked out in their polo tops and argyle sweaters - taking their Saturday to give back to a school they love and I have to say I was impressed.

Impressed yes - feeling warm and fuzzy all over -maybe a little but not a lot. Not like the feelings I got at the mother of all Montessori schools. So while I appreciated all that this prep school had to offer I still have all my eggs in the Montessori basket....... And while I think Ben truly had a great time today at the open house it didn't compare to how much fun he had when we went to play at my first choice - see below:

Time will tell.....we still have three more schools to look into...to be continued

Pre-School 101 Part three Co-op

2010-10-28T11:32:00.003-04:00

There are a limited number of pre-schools in our area so we decided to keep our options open and not put all our eggs in the Montessori basket. This means that even though I LOVE everything about Montessori I have to be "open" to other schools. I do not do this well. I have always been the type of person who knows exactly what they want when they want it. I was like this with all my cars, college, graduate school, our house, cashmere sweaters, and shoes - so why would pre-school be any different. Well because I am a parent and I need to make sure we apply to enough schools so that my son has a place to learn in September.

With my open minded attitude in tow I spent the morning touring a Co-op preschool. The concept seemed nice enough in theory - parents fully participate in their child's education by volunteering on a monthly basis and having parent jobs throughout the year. Okay that sounds good to me and it keeps the tuition down another added bonus. The school I toured this morning is one of two co-ops we are looking into - this one rents its space from a church but is not in any way shape or form affiliated with the church. The space was "nice" not impressive - little rooms, a playground and art studio - sort of cute. My tour guide was a volunteer parent and all three of her kids attended the school and are now in prestige private schools in the area - another positive. The teachers looked young (too young), they follow a child centered approach which I completely support and there seemed to be limited structure which I also like.

But, that is a big BUT, as we tour the rest of the building my tour guide decides to show me the first floor space that they use as a gym - play area when it's raining. The space looked fine (nothing special) and then she says it........ "I feel I need to tell you in case you don't already know that there is a homeless shelter in the basement - now they have their own entrance but the door between the play space and the shelter does not lock. We've never had a problem I assure you it is completely safe". Is she freakin kidding me - did she just tell me that my son is going to be playing in a space that homeless people stretch their legs and did she just tell me that they can wander in there at their leisure and am I supposed take her at her word that this is "safe".

The tour only got worse from there - my guide thought the next stop would be a large empty room that the pre-school borrows from the church - this room is used for dance lessons and active play. We walk into the room and there are about twenty people sitting in there and one of them stands up and says "Hello my name is Bob and I am an alcoholic". Oh my god.....is she serious?!?!?! My child's potential play space is also used for AA meetings - what?!?!? The tour guide then says "oh did I mention this room is also used for AA meetings from time to time but the school works out a schedule with the church". And she states this with a smile on her face like this is a good thing..... umm what's the draw here if mommy and daddy have a bit of a drinking problem they can catch a meeting after dropping off the kid - this was quickly turning into an episode of the twilight zone.

This school was our safety - before the tour we knew that it would be just okay but had a good reputation for admission into the more prestigious schools for elementary school. But unless I want my son to hang out with homeless people and drunks I don't think that this one is for us. The safety school is just NOT SAFE!

Pre-School 101 Part Deaux

2010-10-23T20:46:00.003-04:00

Today was our second experience in finding the perfect school for Ben. Before we started this journey we researched every possible pre-school in our area and narrowed it down to the best eight - so here we were at school number two - the French school. We had high hopes for this one - we loved the idea that Ben would be bilingual and we generally love all things French - French food, French fashion designers, French architecture etc...... So imagine my surprise to find out that I do NOT like the French pre-school.

We walked into this lovely brick building very excited - Ben was excited too this was his first time in an actual school. We were greeted by a woman with a thick French accent who ordered me to fill out a form and take a brochure. We were then ordered to go upstairs - look at the the classrooms and talk to the teachers. Already I am slightly turned off by the rudeness of these admissions representatives - seriously who do they think they are but I am still open minded (sort of well not really).

As we walk towards the classroom I notice that there is a bathroom in the hallway - this surprises me because in all my years working at the elementary level I have never seen a hall bathroom they have always been in the actual classroom - particularly at the pre-school level - these kids are barely out of diapers and these French people expect them to make it all the way down the hall ridiculous. We find the classroom - way down the hallway which looks "very organized" with children's shoes perfectly lined up - color coded lockers with children's pictures and strange art work clearly not done by any of the students. The classroom was equally in "order" there were little chairs which corresponded to little desks which were pushed away to make room for anxious parents awaiting the chance to speak to the "Madame" to be referred to hereon in as Madame Rude. The room did not have any sort of warmth - any sort of inviting feeling it was cold. Yes there were some toys, some books and a play mat but it was just so sterile.

John and Ben decided to check out the books (ALL in French by the way) while I waited in line to speak to Madame Rude. I quickly noticed that Madame Rude only spoke to the daddy's in the room - which I guess makes sense since the daddy's typically front the bill - but the mommy's are the ones involved. Anyway Madame Rude only spoke in French. This was a bit of a problem since my French is Comme ci, comme ça on a good day. I started talking to the man in front of me who basically acted as my translator. When I finally got Madame Rude's attention I asked her the daily schedule of the kids - Madame informed that the the kids are dropped off at 8:00am and picked up at 3:00pm - I asked her to clarify I asked if there was a half day program because in my mind that was just too long of a day for a three year old. Madame glared at me and told me that "mama would just have to adjust". Seriously did she just say that to me - adjust I would have to adjust is she kidding. After that comment there was nothing that this woman can say to me that would have made me want to give this place a chance. My second question was the student to teacher ration to that she glared at me some more and informed me that it was her and fifteen children. "Fifteen - fifteen- fifteen" was all I can manage to say back to her "you and fifteen". Madame must have thought there was something wrong with me because I kept repeating the word fifteen so she proceeded to talk to the parent behind me in French.

I looked around the room and realized that this school and this teacher was SO NOT for us. I noticed a number of parents there with their infants dressed in velvet with little matching hats. These people brought their infant to an open house so that they could apply for the Fall of 2013. I realized that I wanted nothing to with this place. I do not want my son in a structured environment much less a rigid structured environment run by Madame Rude and her fellow comrades. This place was like a military in school where they only spoke French.

On a positive note I realized that my son is so much like me. When I was little I hated trying new things - I did not want to ice skate, take ballet or go to school but once I tried any of these things I absolutely loved them. When we first walked into this school Ben wanted John and I to hold him - he would not play he would not talk to the other kids - after my interaction with Madame Rude I was so disgusted that I was more than happy to leave. The minute we walked outside Ben turned around and said "I want to go back to school I want to go to school" so we went back in and let him play and play he did. So while this particular school is definitely not for us I feel better about the prospect of sending my baby to school next year - to a comfortable environment with no structure and no Madame Rude.

I want a place that lets moms come in to drop off their babies, a place where moms can participate in all aspects of the education process a place that nurtures and treasures its children a place that is the opposite of the French school. Stay tuned tomorrow we will go to our first co-op school ..... to be continued....

Pre-School 101

2010-10-21T20:58:00.002-04:00

So here we are at the time of our parental development where we have to make the decision of where to send our baby to school. As with most urban environments this process is similar to applying to law school or medical school. There are the open house, the interviews, the references, the extremely high tuition bills and the limited number of spaces. Similar to applying to graduate school you have to apply a year in advance and apply to about 8 schools with the hope that your little darling gets accepted into three of them so that you can make a choice. Whether this will actually happen will be determined this Winter when the acceptance letters arrive. After extensive research we have chosen our 8 now it is a matter of interviews and bribes (kidding) to see who will let us in. I say us because while Ben will be the one attending - mom and dad plan to be VERY involved.

So there we were at our first interview at the mother of all Montessori schools. We were up late last night strategizing how we were going to get them to like us. John walked around the house practicing his British accent because anything and everything sounds better with a British accent and I was frantically pulling the perfect outfit. Accent perfected - outfit picked we were so ready. This morning we got up at the crack of 7:00 (very early for us as we are NOT morning people). Miraculously we were ready and pulled into the school's parking lot five minutes before our appointment - totally rare for us to be early for anything.

We parked the car and then just kind of stood there for a minute and looked at each other. Then we kind of looked around hoping to find our parents with us somewhere and then we realized WE WERE THE PARENTS. Oh my God we were the parents of a child that was going to go to school next year - how did this happen? Didn't we just bring him home from the hospital yesterday? Didn't he just learn to crawl - to walk - to talk - how did this happen so fast. Somehow we composed ourselves and decided to ditch the British accent and just be ourselves (after all we really are wonderful who wouldn't want us in their school) and off we went.

Now I knew we would like this place - I did not know we would LOVE it. The admissions representative took us around on a tour and then plopped us into a classroom to observe. And there we were surrounded by 3-5 year olds - watching - staring and trying to somehow picture our baby in that room (very hard to do since all these kids looked HUGE). There was no structure - which I loved- the kids moved freely from activity to activity - there was a ton of individual attention from the teacher and most importantly every kid looked happy and busy. Having worked in the field of education I was used to kids acting out and staring into space - not here - not a single child looked bored - not a single child acted out and most importantly every child looked smart.

After an hour of observation we were escorted into the elementary building where classes were grouped in 3 year age groups - these kids were amazing. They were doing geometry in first grade - they were learning American history by planning a trip to Washington D.C. in second grade. John, my math genius, husband was sold as soon as he saw the level of math in first grade and heard that the child is not limited to his grade level and can set his own limits. Once again every child looked busy and engrossed in their own project. The small classes, the individual attention, the advanced level of study all impressed us. We decided that we will definitely apply and hope to get in - this one is definitely on our list.

Our journey continues for the next three weekends with open houses every Saturday and Sunday. I am still in shock that my baby is actually going to school and even more in shock that John and I are the ones deciding where he goes - we are so the parents........... to be continued.............

Projectile Vomit

2010-10-13T19:24:00.006-04:00

I happen to think a number of things happen when a woman becomes a mother. She becomes a lactating, milk producing machine, she lives and functions on absolutely no sleep and her gag reflex completely disappears when it comes to things that others may find gross like poop and puke. However we have experienced our first encounter with toddler vomit. I say first because thankfully Ben was never a "juicy" baby. He did not throw up as an infant and he has never until last weekend ever had the stomach bug except that one time when he was 5 months old and then it was only breast milk which is not gross and does not smell.

Last Saturday my little angel decided that he was hungry at 9:30 pm (yes that's late to be up for a 2 year old but we're night people and my 2 year old sleeps until almost 10 every morning so we like it). He requested a piece of bread and some adamane peas - as a Jewish mother I do not believe in letting your child go to bed hungry so of course I obliged. After inhaling half the container the little monkey proceeded to jump around the house and laugh for what seemed like hours (actual time 20 minutes). At some point John decided to take him to bed and read him a story in hopes that our little vampire will fall asleep.

All of a sudden I hear my husband scream - wail really- and all I could think was oh my god something horrible has happened to Ben. I ran up the stairs - walk into the bedroom and see my son projectile vomit green adamane peas all over my husband and my husband with a look of sheer terror on his face. John was turning the color of the peas by every second that this went on. I ran interference immediately - grabbed my baby and let him puke all over me while I gently rubbed his head and told him it was going to me okay. As the vomit continues to drip down my shirt and onto my pajamas I start to wonder if it will ever stop - which of course it did. After changing the sheets and everyone's clothes I managed to get Ben to sleep. John and I had one of our "serious" parental discussions and decided without any doubt that this was due to eating the peas too much too fast and jumping around and off to bed we went.

Well we were wrong ..... 2 hours later my baby stirs in his sleep (we co-sleep remember so I can tell when this happens) and says "mommy" and then projectile vomits all over me - I quickly grab him and carry him into the bathroom where this continues and in between wails and pukes he looks at me and says "I love you". Seriously he is the sweetest baby in creation. Once we cleaned ourselves up daddy got stuck with the lovely job of bleaching the bathroom floor. This continued every two hours ALL night long. As I watched my husband on the bathroom floor cleaning up puke I quickly realized that we are getting the hang of this parenting thing. We were like two soldiers in battle each with our own jobs but a common mission and we were going to win.

I am a bit of a neurotic and one of my fears is that he will choke on his own vomit so I decide to stay awake ALL night and sit up and let him sleep on me like he did when he was an infant - which I did. Apparently my neurosis is contagious because John proceeded to sleep with one eye open fearing the same thing. Around 7:00am it had been 3 hours since the last incident so I thought it was safe to go sleep I finally conked out. Two hours later I wake up to Ben's face in mine - he is sitting there smiling and says "thanks for cleaning me up mama I feel much better let's go play". And that right there is why green projectile vomit is so NOT gross!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whether my kid is covered in green puke or surrounded by green grass that face makes it ALL so worthwhile.

Terrible Two's - Not My Baby

2010-08-12T12:45:00.009-04:00

When Ben turned two -friends who have children over the age of two sent me their regrets and made statements like "my Johnny was an angel just like Ben until he turned two" "you'll see you've had it so good so far now the real fun will start" or my personal favorite "welcome to the tantrum club". And of course I did not listen I defended my Ben - Ben is not like that - Ben does not act like your children - we hit the baby lottery with Ben - you guys don't know what you are talking about....

To me the terrible twos mean a very specific behavior it is the vision of a two year old laying down on the floor crying- kicking- and screaming. I have seen these demon children at the park and at the mall and my first thought automatically shifts to what is wrong with that child's mother?!?! I was convinced that we would skip this phase entirely I could not imagine my Ben ever acting like a wild crazed animal. And to date we have yet to experience such horrors.

However, I have been noticing some atypical behaviors in my little angel. Our daily conversations the last week have gone something like this:
Mom: "Ben do you want to go to the beach?"
Ben: "No I don't want to I want to play chooch"
Mom: "Ben do you want to go see the seals and the penguins"
Ben: "No I want to stay home"
And on and on and on - you get the idea

Well my strategy in diffusing these situations is to put him in the car and take him where ever it is that we are going that day and ignore the protests in the car because I know that once we get to our destination he will enjoy himself. Another new development is Ben's growing sense of independence. Ben and I are quite attached we have been since birth - I have never left him with a relative or a sitter overnight and probably won't until he is a teenager and we still co-sleep and I like it that way and we pretty much do everything together day in and day out -so imagine my surprise when all of a sudden my little cling on starts becoming independent.

Yesterday we spent the entire day at the beach after an hour of discussing the pros and cons of going to the beach with my two year old son I finally put him in the car and told him (not asked him) that we were going to the beach and we were going to have fun. After some protesting he accepted our plan and could not wait to get there. Once we arrived Ben immediately made a friend and proceeded to walk away and climb rocks with his new buddy. I don't know which part shocked me more - that he wanted to play with someone other than me or that he didn't need to hold my hand to climb the rocks.

Yes I know as a child development expert I am fully aware of how "wonderful" these developmental milestones are - he is asserting himself (by saying NO and having his own opinions on how to spend his day) - he is social (thank God) (by making friends) and he is showing his independence (by climbing rocks unassisted) and he is so very proud of himself for doing all these things. I know I should be thrilled and I am but there was no warning, no e-mail, no text message. There was no notification whatsoever that my baby - my tiny little boy is now a big kid. My only notification came after the fact and it came from Ben when he climbed to the top of the rocks and announced "Mama I a big kid now - look mama look".

Okay fine I got the memo so now I am holding on to those rare moments when he turns from a big kid into my little baby - those moments are short now and don't happen more than two or three times a day but they are there. It is at night when we are trying to go to sleep and Ben cuddles up against me and breathes directly in my face and looks just like he did as an infant. It is that first moment in the morning when he opens his eyes and grabs my face and smiles and it is at least once during the day when discovers something new and runs to tell me about it and hugs me and says "mama the best" - these are the moments that make it all so very worth it.

Clam attack

2010-07-10T15:12:00.005-04:00

Last week Ben and I decided to go on an adventure....For the first time since we discovered our secret beach we decided to go alone just the two of us. Normally this would not be such a big deal we've gone to other beaches alone but as with most great things there is always the BUT factor. This beach is great BUT the parking lot is large and if you are not a resident you will not get a space near the beach entrance. The sand feels like powder in between your toes and the dunes a beautiful BUT there is a lot of sand and the dunes are hard to maneuver through while pushing a beach cart and having a toddler hanging on your back in his Ergo - but off we went.

Once we maneuvered ourselves through what felt like 10 feet of sand and found our spot there was the issue of the umbrella - I have to say that I have never been the one to actually put the umbrella in the sand - that job has happily been delegated to John or whoever is accompanying us to the beach. But there I was alone with Ben - he tried to help but we just could not keep the umbrella from falling over. We must have looked pretty pathetic because within minutes there were four volunteers helping us and sure enough one of them got the umbrella in the sand.

Ben and had a peaceful lunch and then decided to go play in the water - as we're splashing around Ben decides to start collecting shells. The next thing I know my baby is screaming like he's never screamed before - the life guard is running over and people are gathering around us - I look at his hand and realize that a clam has attached itself to Ben's finger. I try to pull the shell and the little sucker won't budge - after a few minutes I was able to free my baby from the attacking clam. I then went into psycho mommy mode and smashed the clam with my hand and told Ben that the shell was no good. The lifeguard and the people finally went away and we spent the rest of the afternoon pointing at shells and saying "shell no good". Thankfully Ben is fine and in one piece.

Or so I thought - Saturday we took John to the airport so he could go on his very long business trip - Ben passed out in the car - on our way home he woke up screaming and crying - this is odd behavior for my usually mellow happy little guy. I pulled the car over and comforted him and asked him what was wrong and he said "no good shell got my finger".

Those clams better watch out and stay away from my baby................

Happy Fourth of July - Paradise in New England

2010-07-06T11:43:00.010-04:00

I have to admit I am a bit of a beach snob. The reality is that once you've been to the caribbean New England beaches just cannot measure up - they are rocky and the water is always cold until the last week in August. At least that is what I thought until this weekend. I have always been a fan of the North Shore - on Friday Ben and I went exploring in search of the best beach possible. And we found it - an hour outside of Boston - this paradise has been under my nose the last 17 years and I had no clue.

We followed the highway North and got off at the "beach" exit and there it was - paradise in New England. Sandy beaches that feel like powder between your toes, gorgeous scenic views and get this warm water - so warm it felt like bath water. Even the seagulls at this beach were nicer - they just kind of hung out - they didn't try to steal your sandwich or sit on your towel. And before you ask I am not disclosing the location - it took me almost 20 years to find it and I'm keeping it in the family.

We like it so much that we brought the whole family (grandparents were in town which made it all the better) back on Sunday - Absolutely gorgeous.....Ben ran in the water for hours and love every minute of it. Family and Beach what a perfect way to spend Fourth of July.

Dr. Ben

2010-06-23T23:06:00.006-04:00

There are certain moments in a Jewish mother's life when she feels such pride for her son that she gushes from the inside out. Tonight was one of those moments for this Jewish mama. The three of us (John, Ben and myself) are sitting around watching tv - Ben watching Barney on his portable DVD player (John and I cannot take it anymore and don't allow it on the flat screen) and John and I watching Top Chef. It was a little too quiet in his corner and John glanced over to Ben to see what he was doing. He was sitting there on the far end of the couch with the DVD player on his lap and the power cord resting on the back of his neck. Horrors!

My immediate response is to go into complete panic mode (I did mention that I am a Jewish mother). John studies his son for a moment and asks sternly, "Are you trying to strangulate or electrocute yourself?" He seems to believe talking to Ben in this way will impart the gravity of the moment. Ben does not miss a beat and looks up to say, "I doctor - look I doctor". My brilliant two year old was not trying to strangle himself -- he was pretending that the cord was a stethoscope. He is not a suicidal knitwit, but has career aspirations that are the first choice of Jewish mothers everywhere.

We both immediately feel a sense of relief naturally, and beam with white-hot pride (taking turns claiming which side of the gene pool he gets that from). First order of business in the morning is to nail down all cords that are not connected to anything. Second order, go to the toy store and purchase a stethoscope and -- what the hell -- we'll get the doctor coat and the rest of the kit. It's never to early to encourage his dreams.

Note to self - research appropriate age to get Ben his first microscope and chemistry kit. As my husband often (half jokingly) says, Ben can be any kind of scientist he chooses to.

Note to others - yes, I am aware that the psychobabble literature says that a child should explore and find his own path in life and should not be pushed in one direction or another. My response: I would bet that none of these people had their two year tell them that he wanted to be a doctor!

Happy Father's day to the Worlds Greatest Man

2010-06-19T22:36:00.007-04:00

There have been certain moments in my relationship with John when I knew I loved him. The first moment I saw him - our first kiss - our first __________-our wedding day-the day Ben was born. Every time one of these events took place I didn't think I could love him any more than I already did but somehow I do.

Since Ben was born these moments have revolved around John's role as a father. There was Ben's first bath, first solid food, first word, first step, first boo boo. You see he is the only other person that has experienced these moments with me - these are indescribable events and can only be classified as 'you had to be there' type of moments. There are the times that I rely on John completely - when Ben gets shots, when Ben gets hurt playing and there is any blood, when Ben is sick. Those moments this man I fell in love with all these years ago becomes my rock, I lean on him completely and he turns into this pulled together, calm and collective human being that I am not sure that I know but am so glad he is there.

This man, this husband, this father to my son gives to us every day of the year and does everything in his power to make sure we are happy and safe. And this is his day of the year where I want to celebrate him, cherish him and am so incredibly thankful for him.

Every significant moment where I thought it was not possible to love him more, every time I thought "I love this man" does not compare to how much I love him when I watch him with Ben. I fall more and more in love with this man every single day when I watch him be a father - Happy Father's Day Baby......XOXOXOXO

Mama Graduates

2010-06-07T15:15:00.012-04:00

On May 27, 2010 I finally I mean finally graduated from that large university in Camridge. It has taken almost 7 years to finish this graduate degree. Life happened - I met John, we got married and we made Ben. But I was determined to finish - after taking almost 3 years off (pregnancy, first year of motherhood and part of second year of motherhood) I finished.....

Since having Ben things seem to have more meaning - I am truly blessed with the world's most supportive husband and a son who is barely 2 but managed to say "hooray mama - good job" and that made it all worth while.

While this has been a long journey I think it was one that needed to be taken- it allows me the flexibility of opening my office and making my own hours and having the ability to always be available to Ben. I have made my family so proud and I am now part of an elite crowd (one that allows access to state of the art gym facilities and discounts at the Faculty Club - pretty much useless for anything else) - while I never acquired a Boston accept even after living here for almost 18 years - my son seems to have his nailed - he proudly announced that "mama went to Haavaad" lets just hope the accent is temporary and will disappear once he learns to say his r's.

Most importantly 16 years from now when Ben is applying to college and he is filling out his Harvard application my son will check the legacy box and that alone is worth everything....

Happy 2nd Birthday Ben

2010-05-21T00:29:00.012-04:00

Today (yesterday I guess because it's past midnight) was Ben's second birthday and I have to say that I am at a loss for words. There are so many emotions pride, joy, happiness sometimes I think a picture is worth a thousand words.....

Actually I take that back - there is a word - LOVE - pure unconditional amazing LOVE.

Blogaversary

2010-05-19T22:58:00.007-04:00

Today is exactly one year since I started this blog. This means a couple of different things - for one - I have been writing about my son for exactly a year and I still think that everything he does and everything I write is interesting. This can either mean that I love my son dearly and that I am a terrific writer or that I am a complete narcissist - take your pick. I think it is appropriate to talk about transitions in this entry.

I have read a number of parenting books and they all say that if you are co-sleeping with your child you should transition them to their own bed before they are 2 1/2 or they will remain in your bed well into their teen years (well maybe not their teens but a long time). So with that in mind John and I bought Ben his first big boy bed. Ben loves his new bed. He loves to jump on it, read on it, play in it just not sleep in it - especially not at night. But we're pros at this parenting thing at this point and we realize that this transition will take time - months really so we're not expecting too much too soon.

About a week ago I decided that we would start this transition with our afternoon nap. I explained to Ben that we would be napping in his big boy bed - we lay down together and oh my god - it worked - he fell asleep.

As I looked at my sleeping angel I realized how tiny he looked in that big bed - he looked so very small and so peaceful. At that moment it dawned on me that this was going to be harder for me than for him. I LOVE co-sleeping with my son - I love smelling his hair as he falls asleep. I love watching him sleep - I love cuddling with him at night and I love waking up to that gorgeous smile every morning and hearing him say "hi mama". So rather than work on all the things that I had on my to do list to get done while Ben was sleeping in his own bed I sat on the floor of his room and watched him sleep - the whole two hours.

Not to worry he only slept in it that one time and hasn't been interested since.

One of the transitions that I have noticed since becoming a mom is how time seems to move so incredibly fast. I have been writing this blog for a year - feels like a month - I have been a stay at home mom now for almost two years - feels like under a year and my baby is turning two tomorrow - feels like I just had him yesterday. While my baby is still happily co-sleeping I know that it's only a matter of time before he will be sleeping in his room in his big boy bed. But just for tonight I am going to revel in the fact that my baby still sleeps with me and that he is still a one year old - at least for another hour anyway.

Last day of being one.............

I cannot wait to see what life with a two year old is like..........stay tuned!

On Motherhood

2010-05-10T15:00:00.006-04:00

Yesterday was Mother's Day or as John like's to call it my day - not to be confused with my birthday or my anniversary or my Christmas day. This is my second Mother's Day and both years my husband has made me feel like a queen. Last year John took us to Tavern on the Green and the Central Park Zoo and this year we went to the Museum of Natural History and the Russian Tea Room - perfection does not begin to describe it. I am so incredibly thankful to John - he has showered me with love for over four years and he has done something incredibly remarkable - he made me Ben's mother and for that I love him more every single day.

I heard a saying by Elizabeth Stone the other day that said that "making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." That is so unbelievably true and profound. Being Ben's mother is so many things - I am the chef, the maid, the mediator, the social director, the book reader, the bather, the poop expert, the teacher, the friend, the companion and most importantly the ruler of his universe.

Through the last two years the most important realization that I have had is that I truly am this child's whole world. This was mainly true during the first year and a half of his life where he really did not know or care about a world outside of John and myself. In the last year he has definitely realized that others exist and he even likes and even loves some people (i.e. baba, deda and some others). But because I am home with him I am a lot of what makes up Ben's world.

I look at my son and I hope that I am doing it right. I hope that he feels the love, has the security and the stability to be an amazing human being. There is no training for motherhood - one day you just are a mom (ok you have about 9 mos to get used to the idea but you have no clue what it means until that baby is born), there is no manual, there are no directions, there is no degree required. You either get it or you don't, you try to give it your all and you hope and you pray that you are doing it in a way that can set this child up to go out into the world.

This person, this amazing, funny, curious, smart little being is the reason that I am a mother. He is the reason that I get up every morning and rattle my brain for something fun for us to do. He is the reason that I stay up until way past midnight looking for new recipes for him to try. He is the reason that I have not gotten more than six hours of sleep in the last two years. He is the reason that I smile. He is the reason that I feel such incredible joy every single day. He is the reason my heart is filled with love. He is the reason why I allowed my heart to walk outside my body.

Thank you Ben teaching me every day the meaning of true, unconditional love. To be your mother is to be the luckiest woman in the world.

The apple does not fall far from the tree

2010-04-30T15:38:00.009-04:00

There is a story in my family about me as a two year old little girl running away from my mother in the park so that I could join a bunch of kids on a field trip from elementary school. The story goes something like this - my mother and I were in a park and she was talking to a fellow mom friend and turned around and I was gone - totally completely disappeared. She panics and goes looking for me for what has been described over the decades as many long hours actual time 10 minutes tops. Eventually she does find me and is so glad that she hugs me and kisses me all over and tells me that I am the world's most perfect child - no not really that was my insert. In reality she found me following a kindergarten class on a field trip. There I was two years old thinking I knew it all and I decided that today I would join the school aged children on their field trip - why not - seems like a perfectly logical idea for a well adjusted independent toddler - no??

Well all I can say is that the apple certainly does not fall far from the tree. Today Ben and I went to our favorite playground which just happens to be attached to a school. Ben loves this place because it has about six different slides and slides is where it's at these days. After about two hours at the play ground I noticed that the kids at the elementary school were being let outside for phys ed. At this point Ben is happily sliding and I am happily taking pictures of him with my phone laughing and giggling and then I realize that Ben is running towards the direction of the gym class. I follow the little guy but try to stay a few feet behind him because I am really curious to see what he thinks he is going to do here.

He kept going - all the way to where the gym class was being held. He found soccer balls, basketballs, playground balls; he introduced himself to every child out there and never looked back to see where I was. The kid was having a blast. I stayed back watching, smiling and suddenly I realized that school is not so far away for him that the days where he wants to hang out just with mommy and daddy are so numbered and that he really is his own little person. And just then as I am imagining him going off to school in his cute little uniform (yes we're sending him to private school) he looks. Not only did he look to make sure I was still there - but he smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen and he looked so proud of himself - it was as if he was saying "look at me mama I am a big kid - look at me".

And I did just that I looked and looked and looked. I looked at my son line up with the rest of the second grade class when the teacher blew the whistle. I looked as my baby, my 23 mos old little boy was showing 8 year olds his basketball moves. I looked as one of the kids - a boy named Alex got reprimanded by the teacher and my son went over to Alex - stuck his finger out and said "no no no Alex". I looked as Alex said that "there is no way he was taking direction from that baby". And I looked as the children lined up to go back inside and there was my little boy lining up with them.

At that point I intervened and grabbed him and explained to him that they are going to school and we are going to grab some lunch - Ben didn't seem to care because he knew that food was involved in what we were going to do. But he did look at me, grab my face, gave me the biggest and sloppiest kiss and said "thank you mama - fun - I like it".

And so it starts - the second part of the journey - where Ben begins to find his way in the world - or maybe his way on the playground but nevertheless this is the beginning of the next chapter........

Through the eyes of Ben

2010-04-21T00:06:00.006-04:00

Parenthood is an amazing journey. In some ways it allows one to relive their childhood - to enjoy all the simple things for the second time. In other ways it opens your eyes to the beauty of things taken for granted or not noticed the first time around.

Ben and I have regular outings- I like to take him to different places throughout the city and have him experience new things on a daily basis. Last week we ended up in the Boston Commons. I have lived in Boston for 17 years and 10 of those years were spent in the Back Bay 4 blocks from the Commons and I realized that I took so much of it for granted.

Ben loved feeding the ducks, running around the grass and looking at all the new and exciting flowers that are just starting to bloom. There was something so magical about watching him run around and take it all in. We grabbed a loaf of bread and jumped into the duck pond and started feeding the ducks and the geese. As I listened to my baby yell "duck duck goose" I realized that one of the geese was getting way to close to my precious little angel so I went into protective psycho mommy mode mode and grabbed Ben and started shooing the goose away with my flip flop. Stupid yes - over reacting definitely no.

As I stood there holding my baby and balancing on one leg trying not to fall in duck shit Ben grabbed my face and said "thank you mama". I am not sure what he was thanking me for - but it made me stop and realize that it is I that should be thanking Ben for letting me see the world again through his eyes. Ben teaches me on a daily basis that life is beautiful even when you are stepping in duck shit.

23 Months

2010-04-20T23:38:00.006-04:00

Today Ben is 23 months old. It is so hard to believe that he will be two in one month. It all went to fast - it keeps changing everyday - months pass like minutes and days like seconds - but there is no denying it - I am the proud mother of an almost two year old.

It's a little sad to think that this is the last time that we will be counting Ben's age in months - I really think that people who say that there child is ____ months old after the age of two are just weird. So John and I have agreed that this will be it after this we only count in 1/2 years. The last time this happened was when he turned 3 months and we stopped counting in weeks - oh how time flies.

It amazes he how very much he has changed just in the last month. For a while there I worried that Ben would be shy and quite like his daddy. Now please understand that I find John's shyness truly endearing - it does after all compliment my LOUD extraverted personality. If I married someone as outgoing as myself it would never work. At the risk of sounding totally corny I must admit that he is the ying to my yang. But I also know from experience that being outgoing is easier particularly as a kid.

Well this past month my worries about Ben have stopped. This kid will talk to anyone about anything. His new favorite line is "hi I Ben - play?" He says this to kids and grown ups - complete and total strangers. He is a picky little guy though - he won't play with just anyone- there is a strict criteria. The kid / adult must be at least 9 mos older than Ben, be willing to take orders and follow direction, and know how to play with a ball. Yes I realize I am going to have my hands full.

Ben particularly likes older kids - the older the better. One of his favorite kids is an 8 year old boy in our neighborhood - he follows this kid everywhere chasing him around and waiting for him to play. Thankfully the kid is a total doll and seems to like Ben and seems to enjoy having him around. Today I told the kid that Ben was 23 months old and he let him play basketball with him and his friends. The look of pure joy on my son's face was absolutely priceless.

As I watched my little guy chase after these gigantic boys my heart began to ache because I realized that one day soon - sooner than I care to admit - he won't be the baby on the basketball court but one of the big kids - it's all happening way too fast. Now I guess I can start worrying about how fast it's all going - come on it has to be something I am Jewish mother and worrying is in my DNA.

Keepers of my heart

2010-03-12T00:32:00.007-05:00

Today was a special day for two reasons. First and foremost it was John's birthday and second it was the first day of John's new job. I am a lucky woman I married the world's smartest man - so smart in fact that in all the four years I have known him he has always worked from home which resulted in us never really being apart for more than 4 hours at a time. However, due to some recent changes John took on a new contract which requires him to go into the office all day at least for the next couple of months and of all the days to start this adventure - yes he chose his birthday as a start date.

You have to understand that not only have John and I never been apart for 8 hours - never ever since Ben has been born - that is a total of 21 mos - have I been alone for 8 straight hours. There was always John working in his home office or the mother's helper we decided to hire when Ben was an infant. So today was a definite first. Surprisingly we survived and it was surprisingly pleasant.

Throughout Ben's entire life his dada has been in the house - around 12:30 this afternoon he realized that dada was not there. This process took a while - first he checked behind all the curtains - no dada. Then under all the covers - no dada. All the bathrooms (yes we have several) still no dada. At this point my little boy runs over to me with the saddest boo boo face and very seriously states "no dada home". This realization was probably one of the saddest things I have ever experienced with Ben - not only for him but I had forgotten that John was at work and I too realized "no John home". We comforted each other with snuggles and a three hour nap.

Dada did finally come home and we couldn't wait. Ben was so excited that I thought he would knock him over as he came in the door - I couldn't wait to give my birthday boy a kiss. We had an amazing dinner and I served Elmo and Cookie monster cupcakes and as I watched my guys inhale their respective cupcakes I realized the love they share.

There is something special between a father and son. Ben looks up to him in a way and wants to be just like him. And John sees himself in Ben and loves him so much. As I watched them eat their cupcakes I realized that in many ways Ben is a miniature version of John and I just started to laugh.

Watching them it suddenly occurs to me how lucky I am to have these two guys in my life. I suddenly realize that they are the keepers of my heart.

"Peeg" (pig)

2010-03-11T00:43:00.009-05:00

It has been unusually warm out the past couple of days so I thought it would be a good idea to take Ben for a ride out to the country and visit a local farm. We got totally into the whole idea - we packed the car with snacks and blasted 'Old McDonald had a farm". Ben was so excited to see all the animals he could barely contain himself.

As I am driving down the windy country roads and cursing my GPS for making me go the scenic route I suddenly realize that there are flashing lights behind me and I have to pull over. As the officer approaches my window and asks for my license, my son LOUDLY yells "PEEG" (pig). (Disclaimer - John and I do not refer to cops as pigs in Ben's presence) The officer looks at me and raises his eyebrow to which Ben yells even louder "PEEG PEEG PEEG". The officer explains that I ran through a stop sign and goes back to his car. Once the officer comes back the conversation goes as follows:

Officer: "Maam (which makes me feel old) you should be more careful"
Me: "I am so sorry I honestly did not see it" (in my head I was thinking give me the damn ticket before my kid has a melt down and I run out of cheddar bunnies)
Ben: "I see PEEG - I see PEEG"
Officer: "Here you go" (hands me a piece of paper which I proceed to crumple) "aren't you going to look at it"
Me: "I wasn't planning on it" (thinking leave me alone I have animals to see)
Officer: "Maam please look at it - I gave you a warning not a ticket"
Me: "Ok so sorry again - thank you so much"
Officer: "Don't thank me thank your son - he is adorable by the way and I have been called a pig plenty of times but I have never been called a peeg".

We FINALLY get to the farm and it was an incredible day. Ben walked up to every animal and introduced himself "Hi I Ben" he thought that the sheep and the cows were talking to him when they said baa or moo. He ran around and didn't ask to be picked up and we met the world's most annoying chicken. This chicken - which Ben appropriately named "Cheekan" followed us everywhere and wanted to come home in our car with us. It was one of those magical days where I could not imagine life before I became Ben's mommy - it makes it all so worth it.

It was not until I was telling a friend about my day that I realized that my son called a cop a pig and got me out of a major moving violation. I love motherhood!!!

"No Booba- Booba Yuck"

2010-03-03T01:10:00.004-05:00

The last three days have been bittersweet or bittersour depending how you want to look at it. Three night ago Ben was nursing and looked at me and said "booba yuck". The next night the same thing happened except that this time after he said it he cried. The night before last he sucked for about 10 seconds and screamed "no booba no booba yuck".

I couldn't understand what was wrong and I felt so bad that he was so upset that I convinced John that it would be in the best interest of his child to taste my breast milk. After some convincing and many promises on my part, John told me that my milk tastes like lemons. Oh my god my milk has gone bad - it has actually gone sour. My mind starts racing - I immediately make a mental check list of everything I ate in the last 24 hours - nope nothing out of the ordinary. I go on-line and check to see what makes milk taste bad - the answer, pregnancy - oh dear god is what I'm thinking. So I immediately take a pregnancy test (yes we have them handy just in case) and it's negative. Hmmm... mind races again - there is something wrong - terribly wrong with me - there has to be my milk has turned into lemonade.

After several calls to my OB I am told that it is probably the natural progression of the weaning process. I am also reminded that I have nursed 'way longer' than I intended and that I should be relieved that he is weaning himself - after all he is 21 mos old everyone keeps reminding me. Well here is what I have to say to all of you - first of all I know how old my baby is I am the one that was gutted like a turkey to deliver him remember. So yes I am aware that he is 21 mos old and yes I am aware that I never intended to nurse him longer than a year but I did and ready people I LIKED IT - LOVED IT in fact.

I read all the literature on breast feeding when I first brought Ben home from the hospital and I thought all these women who kept talking about how magical it is and how bonding it can be were full of shit. I put them in the same category of people that claimed they loved being pregnant - I know those people are full of shit or insane not quite sure which but that's a whole different post. All I knew at this point was that my nipples felt like they were about to fall off and this little dude with no teeth has a really tight grip on my nipple - and can we say Moo Moo - yes at first I felt like a cow. But I have to say that those people who said all those magical things about nursing were so right.

Nursing my son has been an experience that I am not sure I can put into words. There is nothing better than nourishing your baby in those early months of infancy. Then my baby started eating solids and he kept nursing 4-5 times a day and then he turned one and we were still going 4-5 times a day and I realized that it was no longer for nourishment but something else entirely.

At times it was a way for us to reconnect during the day, at times it was to comfort him and my favorite time was night time. At night I knew that nursing him relaxed him, made him feel safe and happy and that made me happy. When we nursed at night I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and an incredible amount of love. It was in a word - beautiful.

I do wish that I had some warning - I wish I knew that the last time was in fact the last time. I would have savored it, remembered it, inhaled every moment of it. Today was the first day in 21 mos that Ben did not nurse at all. I going to guess and say that he has weaned.

I am sad to realize that ritual is over but I am so glad that we weaned on Ben's terms -that was the way I always wanted it - I wanted him to decide. Selfishly I am sad because it made my life much easier - if I wanted him to nap we would nurse, sleep - nurse, fussy - nurse, upset- nurse. Now it looks like I am going to have to resort to my parenting skills - oh oh. Today it took me one hour and forty-five minutes to put my son down for a nap. He jumped on the bed, we played tickle, he told me stories, we read books, we rocked in the chair, paced the hall way and sang songs. Oh how I cursed my rotten boobs for producing nasty tasting lemonade. And finally he fell asleep. It was hard, I was exhausted, I wished we were still nursing. And tonight I laid down in the bed next to him and rubbed his back, we snuggled and he pulled down my shirt looked at my booba, shook his head, said "no", rolled over and peacefully drifted off to sleep. I felt he was growing up too fast and kept having visuals of him wanting to borrow the car and run off to college - BUT when I looked at that sleeping child all I can see is my precious little baby boy.

Goodbye Snow - Hello Beach - Annual Family Vacation

2010-02-26T23:21:00.010-05:00

Last winter we started the tradition of our annual family vacation. We meet up with my parents and the five of us go to the Dominican Republic and stay at an all inclusive resort for a week. We love it - it is heaven for everyone. My parents get to spend quality time with Ben. John and I get another honeymoon because grandma and grandpa can't get enough of the little guy, and Ben gets to spend a week at the beach with all his favorite people. It's a win win - love it!

Every year without fail something goes wrong in the passport department. Last year we did not know that Ben needed a passport - we found out the hard way. This year I forgot my marriage license which I needed since I never changed my name on my passport. But eventually we always manage to get there and soon enough we land and head to the beach. Once we put our feet in the sand and see the gorgeous view all is forgotten and we begin to relax.

There were many differences with Ben this year. First let's begin by stating the obvious - last year he was 9 mos old - could barely hold a fork, couldn't talk and couldn't walk by himself. This year he was 20 mos old, can feed himself, can walk, run and talk - totally different kid. And this year we discovered that Ben has developed fear. Our kid LOVES the water - any water, bath water, pool water and especially the ocean. As a baby Ben had no fear - there was not a body of water that he did not like. This year we learned that Ben realized that the big waves coming at him on the beach may actually hit him and he decided to proceed with caution. It took some convincing but once the little man remembered that he did in fact like the water it was smooth sailing.

The pool was by far Ben's favorite time. It was obviously calmer than the ocean and Ben had a great time showing off his tricks that he learned in swim class. So there we were one big happy family hanging out in the pool singing the "Noble Duke of York" and playing "Hokey Pokey" when out of nowhere we heard this screech. It sounded like a 12 year old girl was slowly being slaughtered. When I looked in the direction of the screech I quickly realized that it was not a 12 year old girl - it was my husband, the father of my child, my love, my one and only. Apparently while Ben and I were happily putting our right foot in the water as we turned ourselves around my husband got stung by a wasp. Once I accepted that there was nowhere to escape and I would have to walk over to the screeching 12 year old girl and proudly claim her as my man I walked over to make sure John was ok. Once he sucked the poison out of his hand he seemed to be taking the whole thing quite well. The people who were within hearing range of the screeching may be deaf in one ear.

The resort has a number of organized activities which you could choose to partake. One of our favorites was the nightly kid show - where the kids who are in the day camp put on skits. Ben LOVED watching all the kids sing and dance but he WOULD NOT I repeat WOULD NOT go on stage. We tried and tried but is was so not happening. He's still a baby maybe next year - I so want to be that parent in the front row with my video camera singing along with my baby and doing the dance steps as he does them. I know I know I am that mom.....

Another activity that we tried to do as a family was aquasize. You know when a bunch of people stand around in a pool and a Dominican man stands on the side of the pool dancing around to the Makarena and keeps yelling at you to shake your hips from side to side while stretching every other part of your body. Sounds like fun - who wouldn't want to try it. Well we tried it I lasted about 5 minutes while Ben hung out with grandma but after 5 minutes he wanted mama so I left. John on the other hand stayed and tried to show these people that he was the fittest man at the resort and he did great. But later that day the poor guy could barely walk. It took us an extra 20 minutes to get anywhere. Thankfully he healed quickly.

The true meaning of family vacation actually happened the second day we were there. Stupidly I wore my brand new Lacoste sunglasses into the water and sure enough they fell off. My parents and John spread out and began the search. They were on a mission and were not going to give up and as my father spotted the sunglasses John dove to the bottom of the ocean and pulled them out - my hero always and forever. Because a family sticks together during a time of crisis stays together. And losing these glasses would have been a crisis.

This trip also marked my 35th birthday and I have to say that even with all our quirks I couldn't ask for anything more. There are certain days when I feel like the luckiest woman alive and my birthday was one of them - it didn't hurt that we were in paradise. I spent the day with all my favorite people - my parents, my amazing husband and my perfect son. We spent the day at the beach and Ben and I found a hole and tried to bury each other in the sand. My husband treated me like a queen. And my parents watched on as their little girl turned 35 and they watched me play with my husband and my son.

Through the wasp stings, the aquasize injuries, diving for sunglasses, digging around in holes we laughed and I could never ever ask for anything more. We can't wait to go back next year.

"I Too Too" (translation I love you)

2010-01-26T19:51:00.007-05:00

There are moments in this parenthood journey that are simply priceless. When Ben first smiled at 6 weeks old I thought my heart would melt. When he said "mama" at 7 mos old I thought I would pee in my pants I was so excited. When he took his first steps I thought I could never be prouder. But nothing I mean nothing could have ever prepared me for hearing those three little words that I heard last week "I Too Too".

I was putting Ben to sleep and he was almost out and then it happened - he rolled over, looked at me and said "I Too Too" (translation = I love you). Completely unsolicited, completely of his own free will he said "I too too". And the look - the amazing look on his face was priceless. It was a look of pure unbelievable love.

At that moment I felt an emotion that I have never felt before. My heart, my actual heart actually felt warm, I had chills on my back and did what any first time mother would do in this very same situation. I grabbed my baby hugged him as tight as I possibly could, kissed him and said "I love you I love you I SO love you".

Once the goober realized that I liked it when he said those three magical little words sleep was completely out of the question. For the next 45 minutes we jumped up and down on the bed screaming I love you - well actually the conversation went something like this:

Ben: "I too too"
Mom: "I love you"
Ben: "I too too - I too too"
Mom: "I love you I love you so much - I love you"
Ben: "I too too"

Since then "I too too" is part of our daily conversation but that first time, that very first time my son told me he loved was absolutely priceless.

So Ben - if one day many years from now you read this blog entry I hope you know how very much I too too.

This blog entry is part of Steady Mom's 30 minute Blog Challenge

The Meatloaf is Officially Verbal

2010-01-18T23:25:00.003-05:00

There have been so many milestones in the last year and half it's really amazing to see how much development happens in such a short period. I feel like we keep rushing things - when Ben first sat up on his own we couldn't wait for him to crawl. When he crawled we couldn't wait for him to walked. When he walked we couldn't wait for him to run. When he said his first word we couldn't wait for him to say his second and his third and fourth and on and on. But never in a million years did we expect our little guy to be saying full sentences at 19 months old - and that is exactly what he did tonight. A full formed sentence "Animals are all gone."

I was playing with my phone and downloaded an app for kids. It's pictures of a bunch of barn animals and when you touch them they make a sound (cow moo, duck quack, etc). Ben was playing with my phone and pressed a button and looked at John and said "Animals are all gone". I was sitting a few feet away and wasn't sure I heard right. John's eyes bugged out of his head and he beamed with pride with his typical 'that's my boy' expression on his face.

After a few minutes Ben did something to the phone again and again he said "Animals are all gone". This time I heard it loud and clear. My reaction 'Oh My God - my baby, my little meatloaf just made his very first sentence. It had a noun and a verb and it made total sense. Oh my god- oh my god the meatloaf is officially verbal. The baby can actually talk - we've waited for this, we didn't think it was going to happen for a while and now it has - oh my god!!!!

Does this mean that we will now start having actual conversations where I can ask him about things and he will tell me - in sentences? Does this mean that he will start reciting the nursery rhymes that we read to him night after night? Does this mean that he will wake up tomorrow morning - look at me and say 'good morning mama - let's go have breakfast? Does it mean he isn't a baby any more?????

Snip its - First Big Boy Haircut

2010-01-05T23:23:00.006-05:00

Today Ben and I ventured to our first trip to Snip-Its (a chain of kid oriented hair salons). Ben has had three haircuts in his entire life and the experience has far from pleasant. I found a local hair salon that claims to specialize in kids but really doesn't and after three disasters I decided that I would go to the pros - so Snip-Its it was.

Snip-Its is totally commercialized and they use bribery (animal crackers and lollipops) to try to get the kids to sit still. I am a fan of commercialism and an even bigger fan of bribery - so naturally I felt right at home. Ben loved the characters all over the salon, the toys (planes, cars, balls you name it they had it) and my particular favorite was the prize card you get when you walk in so that you can stick in a machine after the haircut and claim your prize - seriously genius concept.

Although my little angel originally got excited by all the fun things in the salon - he quickly realized that something bad was going to happen. He sat in the chair on my lap (our usual ritual) and as soon as the nice hairdresser lady touched his head it was all over. The tears the size of mountains started and did not stop the entire 15 minutes it took her to cut his hair. The hairdresser tried to calm him down by bribing him with a lollipop (I am not a fan of candy but this was an emergency). He graciously accepted his bribe but then the screaming started. The sounds that were coming out of my little dude could be heard outside - down the highway- and in the next town over. Note - he never let go of the lollipop.

Towards the end of the haircut the silly hairdresser pulls out the buzzers. Now at this point I am covered in Ben's tears, snot and buggers and drenched in my own sweat and Ben and I both look at her in horror. Ben wails louder and I asked her in a loud voice "what is that you think you're going to do with those - seriously it looks great as is - we are SO done". She calmly explained that she wanted to even out the back of the neck - to which I replied "yeah we won't be doing that - not today perhaps never". I mean seriously Ben probably thought that the buzzers were some kind of chainsaw that she was going to use to chop off his head - he is clearly terrified of the scissors and has some kind of attachment to his hair because every time a piece would get cut he would cry louder - buzzers not necessary.

Once we composed ourselves we went over to the 'prize machine' and now we were happy. First prize was a basketball - Ben LOVES basketball. The little goober quickly figured out the rules of this game and walked over to the receptionist - smiled and said "more pease (please)" - she couldn't resist so we moved on to prize number two - a football. This was too good. Ben could hardly contain himself. All of a sudden my sad little baby was back to his happy self. He played with the toys and surveyed the salon for stuff. He spotted the lollipops and to my surprise handed me his basketball and football and marched over the hairdresser - pointed at the lollipops and said "more?" He managed to score three lollipops for the road. I actually think she would have given him all of them if meant that we would leave and the ringing in her ears from his crying would go away.

Of course the guilt of traumatizing the little guy got the best of me and I took him out for lunch and to a toy store - I told you I am a fan of bribery. He passed out in the car on the way home and I could not take my eyes off him - my baby is a toddler. Gone is the long clump of baby hair on the top of his head - gone is the funny cowlick which sticks up on the back of his head and in it's place is a perfectly coiffed toddler.

My hope is that once it grows out a bit the cowlick will return - but one thing is for sure - he may officially look like a toddler but he will always be my baby!

"If you're happy and you know it ___________"

2010-01-04T14:54:00.009-05:00

It seems that every day in the past few weeks we discover something new about the goober. His personality and sense of humor is really shaping and I have to say he is the coolest kid that ever was. John and I are always searching for creative ways to get Ben to - well - do what we say. The more he becomes his own little individual the harder this seems to be.

One of the things that seems to be particularly challenging at times is getting Ben to eat enough food. I find myself turning into the stereotypical Jewish mother and talking to myself and saying things like "Oy I don't think he ate enough" "Oy he is too skinny" or my personal favorite "Eat Ben Eat" - ah the flashbacks.

Last week we discovered that Ben can follow commands if we put them in a song. One of his favorites has always been 'if you're happy and you know it' so we experimented. If you're happy and you know it - touch your head.

and he did....
If you're happy and you know it - eat your soup

Oh my god - it worked...
So we kept going - if you're happy and you know it eat more soup

As one might imagine John and I had a lot of fun with this - after about 20 minutes we got him to eat the entire bowl of soup - and for the finale - if you're happy and you know it shout HOORAY!!!

Gotta love it!

So this is Christmas.....

2009-12-30T10:56:00.005-05:00

As a nice Jewish girl from NJ I have always LOVED Christmas. When John and I met I finally got to experience the whole thing - the tree, the presents, the ham. But I don't think I ever really knew what any of it meant until this year. This is Ben's second Christmas and although last year had it's novelties the reality was that he was still a meatloaf.

This year Ben got the whole thing. He waited patiently for weeks before staring at all the shiny boxes under the tree. Like his mother he has the patience of a gnat - so on a daily basis he would come up to me with a present and in a loud and clear voice say "OPEN". It took all my will power to resist. Instead I decided that Ben should get in touch with his Jewish side and open a present a day (for Chanukah) for the week leading up to Christmas. Who cares that the dates were off!

Christmas Eve was great - I cooked a gourmet feast and true to our family tradition we opened two (or three or four) gifts each. Here is a visual of Ben opening his first present:
Enough said.

Christmas morning was also a first. I woke up before Ben (this never happens) - I could hardly control myself so I tickled him slightly - long enough to get him to roll over and say "mama" - then I woke up John and the three of us headed downstairs and the magic began. It was as if Ben knew that it was Christmas morning - he was so excited and tore through those presents like a pro (I think he gets that from me).

And so it begins the buying into of the most commercialized day of the year. They say there is a sucker born every minute - but I don't care. This sucker thinks it is SO WORTH IT!

Let It Snow ................

2009-12-20T23:14:00.008-05:00

Today was a monumental day. My baby turned 19 months and we had the first blizzard of the season. Since I have been a little girl I have loved snow. I love the way the air feels on my face - the beauty of everything being white and most of all that feeling you get when the snowflakes gently kiss your face and melt away - amazing all around. John on the other hand hates snow - or let me rephrase - is sick of the snow. Where I see beauty and peace and snowball fight - he sees hours of back breaking shoveling - cold - ice. Truth be told John LOVES a good snowball fight but does not love dealing with New England winters year after year. I am happy to report that our son has taken after his mama with his love of snow.

This morning Ben and I spent hours playing in the snow. I am always so fascinated watching Ben experience something new. He is so much like his father - cautious, analytical, calculating - so the opposite of me. I just dive right in without a second thought. I took Ben to the park and he just looked at everything that is familiar to him covered in white. I put him down on the ground and he stood their - watching the snow fall, analyzing the situation, and calculating what he had to do to get me to pick him up again. He didn't have to try very hard - "up mama up" almost always does the trick.

I decided I had to get him excited about all the snow or John would get his way and we would be living in some weird place that puts Christmas lights on palm trees. I started picking up snow and tossing it at Ben - he liked that - then I taught him how to make a snow ball - he liked that too. Then I saw John shoveling our driveway and decided to see if Ben liked it any better in our yard - perhaps the park was just too overwhelming - I was right.

As soon as the three of us got into the yard Ben dove into the snow head first - laughing, giggling and screaming "vow" (wow) every chance he got. He watched the snow fall from the deck as I shoveled and thought that this was the greatest thing he has ever seen. Even though my hands were freezing and my boots were soaked - my heart has never felt so warm - so I stayed out there in the yard with my son and watched his face light up as we both threw snow up in the air and said "vow".

Tree decorating 101

2009-12-15T23:35:00.007-05:00

This year marks my and John's fourth tree together. Historically, the tree decorating ritual consists of John handing me ornaments and I pretend I'm Martha Stuart and try to create perfection. I am Jewish, John is not and although I had Christmas trees as a child - we called them 'new year's bushes' I never had my own actual tree as an adult - until I met John. The man is amazing - he makes all my dreams come true - first the tree then motherhood. Well this year we knew that Ben would be much more aware than last year and we also knew that it was going to different.....

And different it was - we pulled out our ornaments and quickly realized that Ben thinks these shiny balls are the greatest things since sliced bread. We decided to include him in everything - what could possibly go wrong - lots of ornaments, one very active toddler - piece of cake.

First came the lights - we thought that Ben should hold them while I walked around the tree stringing them. Well that lasted about 2 minutes - he followed me as I walked around the tree and when I asked for more slack he kind of looked at me like I was nuts. So we (me) quickly decided that John should string the lights by himself while I taught Ben the difference between glass ornaments, special (=expensive) ornaments and plastic ornaments (=not expensive).

As we do with most tasks around the house, we decided to make this a game. The rules were as follows: I would stand by the tree - John had the ornaments out on the dining room table, John would load Ben up with an ornament and Ben would run to me as fast as he could, hand me the ornament and tell me exactly where he wanted it hung. So as 'jingle bells' played in the background, my son was doing marathon sprints across the room carrying ornaments. Amazingly he did not fall and he did not drop a single ornament. Thank God.

After about two hours we were done and the tree looked amazing. Ben did not want this game to end - he wanted 'more more more'. Once we distracted him and lit the tree - Ben looked at it with pride and said 'Vow Vow Kool' (wow wow cool).
Now we just have to run interference between until February (which is usually when we take the tree down) so that the ornaments stay on that tree.

Let there be light

2009-12-09T10:52:00.007-05:00

Watching this child of ours discover new things on an hourly basis is an amazing privilege. Ben is quickly becoming his own little person - with quite the sense of humor. There are times however where John and I are the ones laughing.

There are days around here where we wonder what we ever did for entertainment before we had the little guy. Two nights ago Ben discovered light. This was not an intentional lesson. Years before I met John he bought this ridiculous "doohickey" (for lack of the proper term). It is a headband with a flashlight attached to the middle. I have been informed that this is a useful device for doing "handy work" in dark places. My question is if it's dark why would you chose to do handy work in that place - if you can't see it then why fix it.

John was putting away the "doohickey" and accidentally turned it on. The circle of light was on the wall in the hallway and then it happened - Ben noticed it and my baby turned into a cat. Have you ever seen those commercials for cat toys with the laser light where the cat is chasing the light, running around in circles and bumping into walls - well that was my son.

Because we don't get out much - John and I found this to be the funniest thing we have ever seen and let him run around trying to catch the light for almost an hour. Finally Ben realized that the light on the wall came from the "doohickey" and he HAD TO HAVE IT. He figured out that the "doohickey" goes on his head and then the real fun began. He ran up and down those halls with the speed of light - shining the light on anything and everything possible - laughing hysterically the entire time. John and I laughed so hard that our stomachs hurt. Thankfully the camera was handy and I was able to snap pictures of this wonderful moment in time - when my baby figured out that light comes from the "doohickey".

Ben is the next American Idol

2009-12-01T23:06:00.007-05:00

As I travel through this journey of toddlerhood I am slowly beginning to understand that there are these phases. Our first major phase was a healthy obsession with Barney. It was all Barney all the time. John and I had nicknames for every irritating child on Barney. There were days where we would have done just about anything not hear that annoying ' I love you song'. From Barney we moved onto Thomas the Train aka 'choo choo' - which is slightly less annoying than Barney but oh so boring. Somewhere in the middle there came an interest in the American Idol Wii game.

I blame John and myself. When Ben was born we quickly realized that we would not have the time, energy or desire to go out. So we did what any couple would do - we bought anything and everything that we would need to entertain ourselves in the house. We LOVE karaoke - so much in fact that we had it at our wedding reception. When we discovered the Wii American Idol game we were beyond excited. Since Ben was 1 we have been playing that game and singing to our heart's content. And then it happened....

Ben figured out that he too can participate in this game mommy and daddy play. One day he just grabbed the microphone from us and started singing. He then proceeded to watch our every move and he learned that you need the wii control to choose your song - a task he has mastered. We were so proud - it was all so very adorable. Well, he LOVES this game. Some days it starts at 9:00am. He goes into the living room - finds the microphone and wii control - smiles at me and says 'this this'. And there I am singing over and over and over and over - again and again the only two songs I can (because I am tone deaf). Every time I finish a song Ben claps, smiles , points to himself and says "mine mine" and then it's his turn over and over and over again and again and again.

These are 'precious' moments really they are. On some level I know that there will be days many years from now when he is a teenager and I will wish for the days when he wanted to play American Idol with me but now these current days there are times where I wish that that annoying purple dinosaur would come back and sing the 'I love you' song.

Thankful for....................

2009-11-26T00:18:00.003-05:00

Since I have met my husband I find that I no longer search for things to be thankful for when we go around the table and reflect. I have easily been able to come up with things to be incredibly thankful for: finding the love of my life, being with someone who makes me laugh at least once a day, knowing that I am in the arms of a kind, strong man. Since we have had Ben those reasons have doubled.

I am thankful for the men in my life - my heroes:

I am also thankful that I was able to teach Ben the sound a turkey makes - the little dude has been running around the house saying "gobble gobble obble gobble".
What's better than that?

I will be even more thankful tomorrow when John and I have officially hosted our first Thanksgiving and that bird is fully cooked and served. For some reason we decided we needed a 24 pound turkey for 8 people - I'm optimistic - but we will see.

Happy Thanksgiving.................

Ass (AASS) is the new YES

2009-11-12T23:11:00.004-05:00

My baby - my tiny little angel is growing up faster than I can turn my head. First he crawled, then he walked and now he talked. I'm not talking baby babble but actual words - words that have actual meaning.

Among my favorite is the way Ben says yes - it's more like ASS (pronounce with British accent so really more like AASS).

Our daily conversations are anything but boring.
mom: 'Ben would you like some milk'?
Ben: 'Ass'

mom: 'Ben -do you want to go outside?'
Ben: 'Ass'

mom: 'Ben want to go in the car?'
Ben: 'Ass'

mom: 'Ben is mommy being silly?'
Ben: 'ASS Mama ASS!'

That about sums is up....Who would have ever thought that hearing my name and the word ASS next to each other can sound so incredibly sweet.

Halloween: Two bananas and a monkey

2009-11-01T00:15:00.006-04:00

John and I have always loved Halloween. Before parenthood this dressing up thing meant the sexier the better and parading around town and showing off just how awesome we look. This is our second Halloween as parents and it was my turn to choose our costumes. We are constantly calling Ben a monkey so I thought what better way to represent that than to get him a monkey costume. What goes with a monkey costume - bananas of course. After some careful searching I was able to find two adult size banana suits - let the fun begin.

I think that when I first mentioned my costume idea to John 6 weeks ago he thought I was kidding. It was not until his banana suit arrived in the mail that he realized that he would in fact have to dress like a fruit for Halloween. And not any fruit a head to toe bright yellow banana. After some convincing and a promise that I would be anything John wanted next year he agreed to wear the banana suit.

We began our journey on our street where neighbors had mixed responses...they ranged as follows: 'Awesome costumes', 'aw you guys look so cute', and my personal favorite 'John you are a good man'. John is a good man , a great man in fact, but come on - we looked ADORABLE.

As we continued on our trick or treat journey the comments were all positive. People thought we looked great. Ben only cried once when a 5 year old dressed as the angel of death walked by us - I'm 34 and I thought it was kind of creepy myself. A couple of parents wanted our banana suits right there on the spot - we grabbed their candy and ran for fear that they would strip our banana suits off right then and there. A couple of little girls pointed and laughed and at one point I was walking a head of John and Ben and almost got attacked by a bunch of 10 year old boys who wanted to 'peel' me. The moral of the story is that two bananas and a monkey walking together is adorable, but one banana walking down the street is just asking for trouble.

Travel Etiquette

2009-10-19T22:59:00.005-04:00

I have never been a fan of flying but on our last trip I noticed a couple of things that really annoyed me. (1) Flying coach sucks even more when you lap your kid (2) Getting stuck in the back seat of the plane near the bathroom sucks (3) Constantly looking at someone's front or behind for a 6 hour flight sucks.

It's bad enough being stuck in a tin can filled with recycled air worrying about catching the swine flu but add to that the 6 hour parade of fellow flyers lining up to go to the bathroom. I found myself wondering why some people needed to use the bathroom multiple times (I'm talking 5 or 6 times). There were a number of times during the flight where I wanted to offer some of these people one of Ben's diapers just so they would go back to their space.

People truly have no concept on personal space. Now I realize that we're all packed in there like sardines but I paid my $300+ for my little area (this includes my seat and the area right in front of my seat) and I don't want anyone putting their butt or their front into my area. It seems that sitting in the aisle is an invitation for those waiting to use the bathroom to position themselves for a rest.

After about two hours of this John and I decided to make it a game. We took turns sitting in the aisle seat and as people would walk towards us we would stretch - if they started to lean into "our space" we would casually swing our arms and ever so gently shove them. Now I realize that this was not very mature but it was very necessary. Besides Ben slept most of the way home and we needed to do something other than watch his Barney videos to entertain ourselves.

Here is a picture of my guys on the plane coming home - please notice the uninvited ass in the background.

Mom is ALWAYS right

2009-10-19T22:47:00.002-04:00

Last week we went out west to visit my husband's family. Three days before we were scheduled to leave Ben got an ear infection. We spent Columbus Day in urgent care and they prescribed him some antibiotics and assured me that he was ok to fly.

I wasn't satisfied with the nurses judgment so I called the on call doctor and surveyed all my friends who have children and was once again told he can fly. Well we've been back two days and he has been a mess. I took him to the doctor and sure enough the ear infection is worst and now in both ears. After yet another prescription for a different antibiotic I was told that if I had seen this doctor before we left she would have advised us not to fly.

Are you kidding me?!?! Don't these people all learn the same thing about ears in medical school. I'm new to this kid thing - this is our first. These people supposedly have some experience in this. As with all things parent related I learned. I learned to listen to my gut. The night before our flight my gut was telling not to go but I blew it off thinking it was nerves about flying.

I'm learning that moms are ALWAYS right.

You are NOT my mom!!!

2009-10-05T23:34:00.008-04:00

One of our new activities this fall is Music Together. We've only gone twice but so far it's great. What's not to like - rocker chick with guitar playing loud music and a bunch of toddlers running around to their own beat while their moms try to keep up = fun.

Ben is typically shy in new situations and Music Together is no exception. It takes him a good 20-25 minutes to warm up to the whole thing. Today half way into the class the kids were asked to march around in a circle while some song I never heard of was playing in the background. At the end of the song Ben walked over to one of the other moms and put his arms around her legs. The other mom looked at him and said "I'm not your mommy, honey". Ben shocked by his mistake looked at her in horror, then shed the BIGGEST tear I have ever seen and found me standing two feet away. He immediately ran over to me grabbed my leg and did not let go for the rest of the time we were there.

To his credit the mistake could have happened to anyone. Every mom is dressed in 'uniform' black yoga pants and clogs - so easy to get confused when you're barely three feet tall. I must confess that it felt great when he ran over to me and gave me the biggest hug - he's so still my baby.

Shoot -Score- Win

2009-10-05T23:17:00.009-04:00

Ben has grown so much in the last month it seems that time is seriously flying by. I look at my baby and am constantly amazed that he is now an actual kid. My kid LOVES anything and everything that has to do with balls. He likes to throw them, kick them, bounce them....if there is a ball around he'll figure out what to do with it.

Recently Ben has taught himself to play basketball - ok John and I have played with him but he figured it out - fast. Ben's version of basketball is a bit different than the NBA. The rules are as follows:
First Ben demands the ball by loudly screaming 'ball ball ball'. Once ball is in Ben's hands he runs (walks as fast as possible) while holding the ball and turns to make sure no one is there to take it away (offense) then and only then he shoots (drops ball near net). And then mommy, daddy and anyone within 10 feet of the basketball court cheers and my baby (kid) smiles.

And so it begins - boys and sports... I realize that Ben is years away from soccer try outs or little league or even the NBA but the interest is definitely there. Today he makes up the rules of the game and we follow and cheer him on - one day in the not too distant future he will be on a real team and I will be cheering from the side lines for my little boy. Although it makes me a little sad to think that my baby will not always want to play basketball with me at the same time I am so unbelievably excited to see what he will be able to do.

Benanese 101

2009-09-21T23:46:00.008-04:00

There are a many developmental milestones that I, as a first time mom, have been so proud of this past year. Perhaps at times overly proud but what can I say my baby is the greatest. Of all the milestones talking is right up there. Watching Ben grow from a pre-verbal meatloaf into a walking talking machine has been both remarkable and hysterical at the same time.

Ben has a tendency to favor certain consonants. When he first started talking he loved the letter M. His first word was 'mama' - which made me so very happy. Soon thereafter things were me, ma, mi, and finally mac (the dog). Now that Ben's vocabulary is growing I thought it would be fitting to write down (translate)what things mean. This is Benanese 101 or Ben speak (these words are in no particular order):

Mac - Max (our dog)
Bup - up
Bapple - apple
Beach - peach
Baoo - balloon
Booba - boobs
Bii(d) - non-duck bird
Baba - grandma
Baah, Baaw - ball
Buba - bubble(s)
Book
Block
Buh - brush, either hair or tooth variety
Car
Truck
This
That
Tika Tika - tickle
Crack - cracker and/or cookie
Cook - animal cracker
Cock - (this word has several meanings and must be taken in context: rooster, chicken, sock)
Duck - (this can mean an actual duck or any bird resembling a duck)
Quack
Yes
No
Wawa - water
Outide - outside
Mama
Dada
Deda - grandpa
Oose - shoes
Moo - cow
Ba - not to be confused with a ball, sheep bleat
Die Die - give me (Russian)
Na - here you go
Marney - Barney
fff fi - fish
piza- pizza
Meg - Megan the mother's helper
Jaja - Janis (my friend)
Uh oh
Guck - yuck

Although John and I can almost always understand him there are those rare occasions when we realize that today the cock and the duck went away somewhere to quack which could mean a number of different things - the chicken and the duck went to quack or the duck was wearing socks when he quacked. Either way these are the best days because we see that Ben is really starting to get it.

First family finger painting experiment

2009-09-11T00:13:00.003-04:00

A couple of weeks ago I decided it was time to bring some art into this household. I went out and bought finger paints and decided that the three of us would make a family painting to remember this event. I put everything out on the floor and began by putting my hand print on the canvas.

Ben sat there staring at me not quite sure what to make of the situation - rather than following my lead he decided to taste the paint. First the orange - then yellow - then red ..... We quickly discouraged him from eating the paint and he got bored with the whole thing and went off to play with his truck. Probably too early for finger paints - maybe there is a reason the box says ages 2 and up. Daddy and mommy on the other hand were really really into it.

I thought it would be fun to mark the canvas with different shapes, hand prints, foot prints and see what happens - this will be a work of art for sure. Daddy had other plans.... John is a very linear person which makes things interesting because I am the polar opposite of linear. John had to have the grass green, the sky blue, the sun yellow - everything had to be exact and proportionate. He got extremely upset if I painted on "his" part of the canvas.

I finally gave up and let him do his thing with the agreement that I could put my own touches on it when he was finished. So here is our very first work of art which we proudly displayed in Ben's room.

The moral of this event is that John needs to always have his very own canvas and that like everything we do when we put our very different minds together we end up with a true work of art!

She bit my baby!

2009-08-21T12:52:00.002-04:00

This morning we went to a play date at a friends house. Ben and this little girl normally get along - not today. It all started innocently enough - they were standing next to each other Ben was either petting her hair or maybe pulling on it gently and then she put his whole hand in her mouth and clamped down like a pit bull. She bit my baby!

What followed was a complete disaster on many levels. I tried to pull her off Ben but she would not let go - Ben was screaming - I was screaming at her mother and the little monster just would not let go. Finally her mother somehow managed to get her mouth open and Ben's hand was free. He had a HUGE bite mark and it took me a while to get him to stop crying.

In the meantime, the mother of the biter was attempting a meaningful conversation with her 15 mos old asking her what was wrong with her and gently explaining to her that she shouldn't bite. Are you kidding me - that child should have been thrown in a time out immediately. Or better yet - biter's mom should have bit the biter to teach her what it feels like so she does not bite any other children.

Ben finally settled down and the biter decides to walk over to where we were sitting - tries to look cute and then lunges for Ben again. Well at this point I turned into 'animal mommy' mode - you know the mode where you can't think straight can't see anything but your child and have only one goal - to protect your offspring. That was me - so as the biter is opening her mouth and starting to bite I put my leg out and shoved her out of the way - to protect my child.

Needless to say this then turned into a battle between myself and biter's mom - it went kind of like this:

BM (biter's mom): I think it may be best if we go outside
Ben: (still crying)
Me: We're going to go home - I think that would be best - I don't want Ben around her
BM: Well I don't appreciate you shoving my child
Me: I don't appreciate your child trying to bite my child's hand off
BM: She's never done this before - she's been bit though
Me: (not really comforted by that statement) Well she did it today so now she bites - we need to go home
BM: Clearly this isn't working out - maybe they shouldn't play together
Me: DUH!?!?! You think...................

The whole car ride home I am beside myself...I feel horrible for my baby - I am praying that little monster didn't break the skin - I am hoping he won't pick up her nasty biting habit and I am worried he's going to need a rabies shot...

I immediately tell John about what happened and he calmly tells me that I may have overreacted.... he may be right...but this was by far a first in this parenting journey. What is crystal clear is to me is that we will not be playing with the biter or the biter's mom ever again!

Our newest addition

2009-08-06T23:02:00.006-04:00

We have a new addition to our family. No I am NOT pregnant. But we are the proud parents to an annoying purple dinosaur that sings every time you touch it's belly. Yes we have a Barney doll. Yes Ben LOVES Barney. And yes it's all my fault for introducing Ben to the annoying purple dino in the first place.

It all started innocently enough. About a month ago I decided to turn on Barney on the Sprout network to see what all the fuss was about. Well it took just one episode and the kid was hooked. Seriously I mean he LOVES this thing - loves the intro song, the way he hops around and the annoying theme song. Not to mention the seriously annoying kids on this show - where do they get them and what's with their outfits? I realize that the show is over 10 years old but the clothes are really bad.

Because I am one of those mothers that gets off on seeing her baby happy I asked a friend of mine to pick up a Barney doll for Ben (she lives near a Toys R Us). Ben fell in love with it - it goes EVERYWHERE with us - in the car, to the park, for a walk and to bed.

Two nights ago I thought I was losing it - I woke up at 3:45 in the morning and Barney was singing "I love you...you love me..." It took me a while to realize what was happening and that I was not living a nightmare....I hadn't realized that Ben took the the thing to bed with him and I rolled over on it. It took all my self control to not throw it out the window.

As Ben's personality starts to come out we can definitely see that he knows what he wants and when he wants it - usually immediately. Barney is no exception - he takes the Barney doll - makes it sing (ugh) and points to the tv - I then turn on the tv and Ben does the cutest little happy dance to the theme song. As annoying as Barney is to me - it makes Ben happy....so I will learn to live with listening to the words to "I love you..you love me..we're a happy family". If you really listen to the words the song is kind of sweet the first time you hear it. Although I must admit the 10,000 time you hear it - it can get old, but it kind of doesn't because it makes Ben smile ear to ear.

And then I peed a little

2009-07-31T23:55:00.005-04:00

Today I took Ben to the town pool for a play date. This pool is great for toddlers it's only 3 feet deep - has a waterfall and sprinklers - the works. Ben LOVES this place. We met up with our friends and went into the pool with vengeance.

The mommies stood facing each other as the kids held our hands and splashed around. It was the perfect way to spend a humid morning. Within two minutes I looked down and saw Ben head first in the pool. I have never felt such fear and panic and then more fear and more panic all at the same time. Insane scenarios popped into my mind - he's drowned, he can't breathe - what if he's brain damaged - OH MY GOD!!!! I couldn't stand it and I hate to admit it but I kind of peed a little.

I scooped Ben up hugged him and kissed him and he just kind of looked at me as if to say "mom what's wrong with you?" He did not cry - he did not choke on water - he wasn't scared - he just kind of looked at me. He was completely and totally fine. I on the other hand had aged ten years on the spot.

When we got home I stood in the living room in my pee stained bikini and told John what had happened and he laughed. That's right he laughed. Apparently unbeknown st to me John has been teaching Ben to put his face in the water when he gives him a bath. Apparently Ben LOVES to put his face in the water - he has learned to hold his breath, blow bubbles - the works. No one thought that they should tell mommy about this new trick. No mommy gets to find out all on her own and wet her pants in the process.

I spent the rest of the day spoiling my baby. He had pizza for lunch. We went to his favorite organic farm where we saw pigs, goats and chickens. I let him eat all the berries he wanted and bought him a cinnamon donut. After our afternoon nap we took him outside and played for hours and I let him nurse whenever he felt the need - screw weaning - NOT TODAY!!!

Momnesia

2009-07-27T18:34:00.003-04:00

Momnesia is a condition I seem to suffer from - it not unlike amnesia except momnesia seems to be the forgetting of things baby related (i.e. being really uncomfortable during the last 4 weeks of pregnancy, lack of sleep, etc). I am surprised at how quickly one forgets the first 10 weeks of having a baby. The constant lack of sleep, the inability to function and the zombie like feeling that stays with you day after day after day. The past two weeks Ben has been getting his molars and we have been up all night every night.

Ben has always been an advanced teether. He got his first tooth at 5 months at at 12 mos he had 8 teeth. He is starting to cut his canines and his molars at once. I am glad that we can just get this over with but it is truly exhausting.

I am amazed at how quickly my momnesia kicked in and how I just cannot seem to remember what it's like to not sleep for nights on end. I have been walking around here like a zombie telling John that he needs to get fixed as soon as possible because there is no way that I am ever going through this again. I kept telling him that I am an only child and I liked it that way and Ben will too. When I am not walking into walls I am googling the dangers of children's motrin on a daily basis.

As tired as we were we went to a one year old's birthday party where we ran into an old friend who had a 5 mos old little boy - and then it happened. The damn momnesia kicked in and I got the baby fever. Conversation with John at the party went as follows:

Me: Look at how small and cute he is - don't you just want to hold him

John: Get that thing away from me - I will not hold it - it has magic powers and it will make me think I want another

Me: Come on baby - look how sweet - Ben needs someone to play with

John: I mean it - you keep it away...............

Me: Think of how easy it would be the second time around - now we know what to expect

Ben: b-a-b-y

Me: Look I think Ben likes him

So there you have it - momnesia strikes again - I have once again forgotten how truly hard not sleeping really is. Ben's molars have finally cut - we are sleeping soundly once again and life is good. As far as baby #2 we will leave that one completely to fate!

Moo Baa La La La - city mom ventures to the farm

2009-07-11T23:59:00.007-04:00

This week was a first for us. Since Ben is now a true walker I am finding it necessary to take him on weekly outings. His favorite book is Sandra Boynton's Moo Baa La La La. I can honestly say that I have read that one at least 5000 times. So I decided that it would be nice to take him to a farm and show him a real cow, sheep, pig etc.

I have always been a city person so for me to venture to a farm is a big deal. Thankfully the GPS got us there. In my mind I imagined a small barn with a couple of farm animals - well I was wrong. This place was huge - they gave us a map to help us get around - that should have been my first clue that I was completely out of my element.

We started at the chicken coup - Ben was fascinated and I stood there clucking cock a doodle doo and frantically waving my arms at my sides like the chickens. We ventured over to the goat shed - Ben LOVED the goats. One goat got a little too friendly with him - I'm sorry call it over protective BUT I was not letting my baby make out with a goat.

Next we went to see the cows and then it happened. We watched the cows and I started saying 'moo moo moo'. The cow then said 'moo moo' and all of a sudden Ben got this look on his face. It was as if something clicked - he got it - he understood. He realized that the cows in his book are like the real cows we were seeing - he smiled the greatest smile and said 'moo moo moo moo moo moo'.

When he went to see the sheep, Ben had the same revelation 'ba ba ba ba'. The pigs were a different story. We went into the barn and I showed him the pigs. I starting snorting (loudly) and saying 'oink oink oink'. Ben looked at me with a puzzled look on his face and then he looked at the pig - back at me - pig - me - pig and he said 'la la la la'. Hey the kid is right - in the book the singing pigs go 'la la la'.

After about an hour the smell just started to be a bit too much and I decided to head towards the car. I had lost my map somewhere between the goats and the cows and was well lost. I found my way back to the chicken coup and saw a path - ah ha I thought this will surely get us back to car - no such luck. We ended up on some trail that took us to a bird sanctuary where we saw owls, crows and eagles - what we did not see was our car. Did I mention I thought this place was small and didn't bring the stroller - we (mainly me) were so tired. Finally, after walking about 2 miles out of our way we saw the parking lot. Overall not a bad first day on farm. On the way home we sang 'Old McDonald had a farm' and 'mooed' to our hearts content.

Fourth of July Weekend - not just a day at the beach

2009-07-10T00:38:00.006-04:00

Our plan for fourth of July weekend was to keep it low key. We planned to stay local, maybe hit the beach and finish up projects around the house. Correction - John finishing up projects around the house while I made sure Ben stayed out of his way - it's a team effort. We had ordered new lighting fixtures about two months ago and John decided that this weekend would be the weekend where he would put them up. He was convinced that even though he had never attempted this before he does not need an electrician.

After five hours of working on the lights we decided to take a break for dinner. The light is a hanging three tier chandelier and was left hanging by one of its three required wires. Just as we were carrying the dishes over to the sink it collapsed on us. John got a cut on his hand, my wrist got scraped and Ben laughed from his high chair thinking that it was hysterical to see glass things falling from the ceiling and landing on mommy and daddy. All we could say was that thank god Ben was in his chair and nowhere near the kitchen.

The next day we decided to make beer can chicken. Everyone said this is the greatest way to make chicken on the grill - and that the chicken looks so cute propped up. Apparently it's easy - all you do is take a can of beer, stick a chicken on it, throw down some wood chips and walk away. Simple enough..... not so much.

The grill kept overheating and the chicken caught on fire several times. The end result was very tender charred chicken - yuck! We decided to go out for ice cream before the fireworks - as we were leaving the house we saw that the trash cans were on fire. John ran over to the kiddie pool and emptied it on the trash cans - apparently someone took the hot wood chips and put them in the trash. Thankfully no real damage was done - the smell was something else.

We decided to spend the last day of our weekend at the beach - after the falling lights and fire we needed some beach time. We found our little spot on the beach and decided to eat lunch. Just as we were beginning to relax, the world's most obnoxious seagull came by and took my sandwich. This thing just snagged it and flew away. I've never seen anything like it.

This was our first trip to the beach since Ben started walking - he walked everywhere - up and down the strip, to the water and to other kids. Apparently Ben thinks that all plastic beach toys are his. He walked over to a little girl playing with her toys and took her shovel and began digging a hole. I returned the girl's shovel and tried to tell Ben that those were not his toys to which he mumbled "diddididi" which I think means "they are too" and proceeded to walk into the water. So glad it's still easy to divert his attention.

First Major Digger

2009-07-02T00:13:00.004-04:00

Today Ben had his first major digger. It was another rainy day here in New England and Ben was happily entertaining himself and me by chasing the dog around the living room when suddenly without warning BOOM. He toddled face first right against the window sill.

It was one of those moments where I felt so incredibly helpless. I could see the fall happening - it was as if it was in slow motion and then he screamed. My husband happened to be coming down the stairs right when this happened. He ran over to Ben and scooped him up - I did my regular 'oh my god my baby is hurt' dance. Ever since Ben was an infant my husband has said that when he gets hurt or is really sick I do this dance. He says it resembles a frantic dog chasing its tail. So there I was chasing my tail in circles panicking staring at my baby's face as it swelled. He hit his cheek about a centimeter away from his eye.

My husband calmly told me to call the doctor. I stopped spinning around in circles long enough to grab my cell phone and dial. The conversation with the nurse went as follows:

me: my baby fell - his cheek near his eye is swelling

Ben: screaming his head off

nurse: Is it his eye?

me: no I don't think so but it's really swelling bad what to we do?

nurse: try some ice - frozen peas, ice in a zip lock bag

husband: motrin we need to give him motrin ask her about the motrin

nurse: the motrin will not help with the swelling

husband: motrin motrin motrin

me: he doesn't like the ice pack

nurse: well there are two of you can't you hold him down

Ben: stopped crying stares at me and his father with the saddest little face ever

husband: what about the motrin

me: no we can't hold him down - why would we do that - it will only make him cry harder

husband: motrin motrin motrin

me: (to husband) the motrin won't do anything about the swelling I already hung up with the nurse

husband: why are you just standing there - give him a boob and keep giving it to him as long as he wants it - today is not the day you wean.

So I took my poor little baby and gave him my boob which seemed to work a lot better than the ice pack the nurse suggested. He seems fine now. I know that he will fall hundreds of times in his life but this was the first major fall since he started walking and I think we handled it quite well. I hope for our sakes that next time we have better coping skills than motrin and boobs.

It's officially a toddler!!!

2009-07-01T00:33:00.008-04:00

Well it's official - we are the proud parents of a toddler. Ben is changing on what seems to be an hourly basis. Some of these changes are wonderful and amazing to watch while others - um let's just say they are developmentally appropriate.

In the last week Ben has really found his likes and dislikes. On our trip to the beach we discovered that he likes to eat sand. He does not like it when his daddy or mommy tell him that he cannot eat the sand. He likes to walk - everywhere. He does not like it when mommy puts him in the stroller. He likes to throw food on the floor during every meal. He does not like it when mommy and/or daddy tell him not to do that.

As you can see there is a pattern here. Ben has really found his voice and he's not afraid to let us hear it. I must say his tenaciousness impresses me and I am proud that even at this early age he has the ability to assert himself. I have a feeling that this is the beginning of an interesting period in all three of our lives. We also learned that Ben likes to give kisses and he likes it when mommy and daddy give kisses back.

The meatloaf is officially upright

2009-06-24T23:34:00.003-04:00

Meatloaf is a pet name we gave Ben when we brought him home from the hospital. We called him meatloaf because well he would just kind of lay around and not do very much. When he began to crawl (at 5 mos) we would catch ourselves saying things like 'look at the meatloaf go' and we would cheer him on ' go meatloaf go'.

Well it's been about a week since his first steps and he is now totally walking - the meatloaf is upright. It's strange to see our little meatloaf walking around the house - almost running around actually. The other day Ben and I went for a walk to Harvard Square (about a two miles from our house). On our way back I let him out of the stroller to walk through a Farmer's Market. He would NOT under any circumstances get back in the stroller. He INSISTED on walking ALL the way home. I saw that this process was going to take a while so I quickly ran over to the ice cream stand at the Farmer's Market and got him a mango cone (mango is his favorite). I tried to use the ice cream cone to get him back in the stroller - did not work.

I tried to get him to pick up the pace by holding the ice cream in front of him - this kind of worked. It took us 2 hours 15 minutes to walk home (distance = 2 miles). To put this in some perspective is took us 10 minutes to walk there. So now I am slowly beginning to accept that my baby boy is an active toddler - let me rephrase that a stubborn active toddler who is very much embracing his new found independence. My meatloaf is officially upright and he is not such a meatloaf anymore.

Happy (I'm Too Sexy) Father's Day

2009-06-21T12:34:00.009-04:00

A couple of weeks ago our photographer (we hired her to take pics of Ben) informed me that she would be using my guys in her Father's Day ad. I was so proud of them. Hubby's head has been expanding for weeks and he has been running around the house singing "I'm too sexy.....".

For Mother's Day, he literally made me Queen for the day so I thought I would make him king. After sleeping in and a lavish breakfast in bed hubby has finally surfaced and not a minute too soon - we just got the ad from the photographer and it's AMAZING. So now his head is sufficiently huge and he may stand outside to see if anyone wants his autograph - but it is HIS day - all power to him.

Here are my super models

MBS = Mommy Brain Syndrome

2009-06-17T23:43:00.007-04:00

I have come to accept that I suffer from MBS (mommy brain syndrome). I believe this is a condition that affects moms particularly in the first year of motherhood. I say particularly in the first year because I still have hope that one day I will have full use of my brain again. This condition can be blamed on lack of sleep, hormonal adjustments or just lack of brain cells. In my case I think all three apply.

Today was an example of a day when my mommy brain was in full force. The MFF and I had grandiose plans of taking the kids to an outdoor pool in Boston. I remember reading something in a magazine that said a certain hotel on the harbor possessed one of these rare rooftop pools - complete with waiters and lounge chairs with umbrellas - the works. It took me 45 minutes to get our stuff together and get in the car. I kept forgetting important items like sunblock, change of clothes, snacks etc. After about 15 trips up and down the stairs we were on our way. For whatever reason I could not follow the navigator - she kept telling me to go left but she meant bear left - long story short we got lost. When we finally arrived we went up to the concierge and asked how to get to the pool - you know the one I read the write up about. The concierge looked at us like we were nuts and politely informed us that no such pool exists.

We had already spent $35.00 on parking and the kids were fussy because they were starving so we decided to stay and have lunch. It was clear that we had two very active toddlers with us but the waiter seemed to think they were invisible - it took them over 30 minutes to bring us our food - thank god for snack bars. Once the bill arrived, the MFF realized she forgot her wallet - I grabbed my wallet and sure enough I did not have my ATM - it was in the Ergo that was home on the living room couch. Luckily I had an emergency credit card on me so we did not have to wash dishes.

With no pool in sight we decided to walk the kiddies in the new park outside the hotel. When I say walk the kiddies I mean meander slowly with two very wobbly walkers. Ten feet took 35 minutes to walk. They would not go in their strollers because they are so excited about their new found skill that they wanted to show it off. We decided that the day should not be lost and went to Clarks to go shoe shopping (for the kids not us - another major difference of motherhood - I no longer shoe shop for myself). We bought them shoes, went on the merry go round and headed back to the very expensive parking garage.

Before you can leave the garage you have to pay by inserting your ticket in this horrible machine that has asperger's syndrome and keeps telling you to 'please insert your ticket' over and over and over again. Well if I had my ticket doesn't it think I would insert it?!?! Of course mommy brain struck again and the ticket was nowhere to be found. After frantically searching through my pockets, the diaper bag and stroller I finally found it on my fourth attempt. Once we left the garage I could not seem to remember how to get back on the highway - yes the navigator was talking to me but I swear they moved the highway because it was not where I remembered it.

We did make it home (5 hours later) but I truly felt like a horses ass. This picture was taken today at the merry go round - I did not pose this way but it certainly is appropriate.

'Oh my precious ....oh my precious'

2009-06-14T00:22:00.007-04:00

Yesterday I bought Ben his first brush and comb. I realize that he is one year old but it was not until about two weeks ago that he actually had enough hair to comb and/or brush - besides I kind of like the disheveled look. The brush has a bug on the handle and the comb is shaped like an inch worm. Please note that Ben is not one of those kids that gets particularly attached to toys or loveys.

I gave Ben his comb and brush before he went to bed in an effort to buy myself a few minutes to wash my face and apply moisturizer. Ben sat on the bathroom floor and played with his bug brush and inchworm comb. We went into his room and and I showed him how to brush his hair. Like brushing his teeth, he picked this up almost immediately. I don't know what it is with this kid - he's big on hygiene. He certainly does not get that trait from either of his parents. The events that followed were interesting.

When I tried to take the brush and comb from Ben he screamed - so we did the logical thing and let him take them to bed with him. Ben sat on the bed first brushing his hair then combing it. Then he combed daddy's hair and then mommy's hair.

He held onto this brush and comb for dear life - there was no way anyone was taking them away. The look on his face was reminiscent of the hobbit from Lord of the Rings walking around chiming "oh my precious..........oh my precious".

Once he fell asleep daddy took the brush and comb and put them away - we're been scared to bring them out since.

First Steps

2009-06-14T00:03:00.008-04:00

Today is a great day in history. Today my son took his first steps. I have never been more proud. He has been working up to this momentous day for weeks - holding on the the sofa, the coffee table, chair and basically anything he could grab to keep moving.

This morning I went to a very overdue waxing appointment. When I came back my husband looked at me sheepishly and told me that Ben took his first steps and I missed it. Imagine the guilt - I am a stay at home mom - I leave the house for an hour so that I can look less like King Kong and more like a human and I miss my baby's first steps. How I wished I could have a do over - how I wished I wasn't so vain and could accept being a hairy gorilla. If only I didn't go get waxed. My husband realized I was getting upset and tried to down play the event by saying it was only two steps and that it didn't count unless we were both there. My husband also reminded me that he was thankful that I no longer resembled a hairy ape and that Ben would do it again.

We spent the day at the river festival and I waited and waited. We came home around 8:00 and my wish came true. The little man was cruising around the coffee table and looked like he was going to take a step. I decided I was not going to leave this to fate and grabbed some dried fruit (he loves the stuff). I held up the fruit and he tentatively stepped towards me. It was two - three steps but they were real independent steps and he looked so proud.

So yes I bribed my son to walk towards me but the way I remember it is that on June 13, 2009 my baby boy took his first steps with mommy and daddy in the room.

No apparently means Yes

2009-06-12T12:20:00.012-04:00

There are a number of things that Ben does where we are forced to just say no. This is much easier said than done. We do not want to be the kind of parents that are constantly barking the word 'no' at our kid but there are times when 'no' must be said. Ben has developed a fascination with the dog's water and food bowl. Usually John and I are pretty good at picking up the bowls to avoid unfortunate situations but the dog does need food and water occasionally.

This morning while I was cooking breakfast Ben was being his usual good natured self and was sitting on the floor reading a book to himself cracking himself up. All of a sudden I realized it just became way too quite. I looked over and my little sneak was slowly and quietly crawling over to the dreaded dog bowls. I had my hands full with breakfast so I made a lame attempt at discipline:

Mommy: 'No Ben no'

Ben: keeps crawling towards the water bowl - looking at me the entire time with a HUGE smile on his face

Mommy: 'No Ben no - please don't put your hands in the water bowl'

Ben: puts his hand in the water bowl and laughs hysterically

Mommy: (trying very hard not to laugh along) 'No buddy - please step away from the dog bowls'

Ben: HUGE smile - 'Mama' puts both hands in the dog food - picks up bowl and dumps it over his head and all over the kitchen floor

Mommy: 'No no no' - I got on my hands and knees and cleaned up the 200 pieces of kibble from the floor.

The word no apparently is still not in our vocabulary - or if it is then Ben is just testing his boundaries which is healthy for his age - I just wish he would find a less messy way of doing it - but I must admit I do appreciate his sense of humor. For now I can accept that no apparently means yes.

No swimming in the potty

2009-06-11T13:03:00.004-04:00

We've had quite a morning here at toddler world. Ben has started brushing his teeth and he loves this process. We love watching him do it and are proud that he is developing good oral hygiene. This morning like every other morning we were brushing our teeth in the bathroom together. Ben decided to cruise over to the potty (toothbrush in hand) and thought it would be fun to throw his toothbrush in the bowl. As if that wasn't bad enough he decided to go into the bowl after the toothbrush.

The following sequence of events occurred. I ran over to him as fast as possible, grabbed him by his feet to pull him out of the toilet. Luckily he only had time to get his hands in the bowl. I ran to his room, grabbed the baby wipes to wipe his hands. I started pushing on the Purell pump desperately trying to get as much Purell as possible to sterilize his hands. The result was that the Purell pump shot Purell all over the nursery with the majority of it ending up in Ben's hair, all over his face and all over me. Ben began to scream. I began to panic thinking that the Purell was in his eyes and I had blinded my baby. We ran back to the bathroom and I began splashing water on his eyes to get the Purell out. Ben was screaming, my heart was going 90 mph.

After what seemed like hours (real time of events was approximately 2.5 minutes) I felt that I had gotten all the Purell out and Ben settled down.

Moral of the story if you don't want your baby to go swimming in the potty ALWAYS close the lid......

If your baby is sick please stay home!

2009-06-04T13:07:00.008-04:00

Since becoming a mom I have developed many pet peeves that I never used to have - among them is irresponsible parents of sick kids. Last week at 'mommy and me' there were three sick kids. Mommy and me has an interesting sick policy - if your child:
-has colored snot
-is vomiting
-has a fever
do not bring them in that week.

The moms in my group decide to take this literally and forgot to use common sense. In their defense their children did not have colored snot - it was clear snot and was running all the way down their kids' chin. I didn't see anyone vomit and short of sticking a thermometer in a strange baby's bottom I have no way of knowing if they had a fever. But come on, seriously if the kid has stuff dripping out of his nose and sounds like a barking seal can't you just stay home?!?!?

Due to the complete lack of regard of the moms my little monkey has been sick for a week. He has a runny nose ( clear not colored), is generally cranky (which is not like him) and just a bit of a sad little bear. To top that off his first year molars are coming in and these monsters look like they hurt....

Hair today gone tomorrow

2009-05-30T00:11:00.004-04:00

Today Ben got his first haircut. Making this decision was not an easy one - part of me wanted to hold on to his baby hair as long as possible but another part of me began to realize that I was the only one that thought it was cute that the hair on his left side was noticeably longer than on his right -so I booked the appointment.

The experience was for lack of a better word 'hairy'. Ben cried the entire time - the poor little guy didn't know what was going on. As the hair dresser was desperately trying to get a straight cut he screamed and shook his head back and forth. After what seemed like an eternity (actual time 20 minutes) we were done. Ben hung on to me for dear life the entire time.

Once in the car Ben was able to see his reflection in the mirror and to my amusement he smiled ear to ear and proceeded to wave at himself - he is such a little ham. Because I am his mommy and probably read way more into these situations I decided to take him to the local bakery for a special treat. I let him pick out his out treat and watched him devour a fruit tart.

Although I do not think that Ben made any connection between the horror of the haircut and the tart it made me feel better to do something special for him. As I look at my baby with his first hair cut I am slowly beginning to accept that he is in fact growing up. It's all going way to fast............

Shots Stink........

2009-05-29T12:31:00.006-04:00

We took Ben to the pediatrician for his one year check up. The little guy has totally figured out that there is no good that can come out of going to the pediatrician. The first incident of hysteria began when the nurse came in to measure him. Now you must understand that all that is involved in this task is that Ben lies on a table and the nurse puts a pen mark at his feet and head - she is not actually touching him. Well by the sound of his screams you would have thought she was giving him stitches.

The second bout with hysteria came when the doctor came in the room - he said hello and Ben wailed. I think after a year of visits he understands that this is the man who looks in his ears and this is the place where the shots happen.

Shots are difficult both for Ben and for me. First, we are on an altered vaccine schedule so there is always the dreaded decision about which shot, when, and how many. Second, I hate the thought of having my baby experience any pain and am also not fond of the idea that poison is being injected in him. Yes I understand the benefits of vaccines but that still does not make it any easier. Third, ever since the first round of shots - I have had the same horrible reaction.

The nurse comes in - I see the needle - the room starts to get smaller and smaller. My husband holds Ben - he screams - and my heart starts to hurt and I start to cry too. This has happenes at every vaccination.

By the end of the visit Ben and I are both exhausted and cannot wait to get home and take a long long nap.

MFF (Mommy Friend Forever)

2009-05-28T00:22:00.004-04:00

When I first became a mom I came upon the realization that I did not have any friends who were going through similar experiences. Sure I had a couple of friends who had kids within the last couple of years but I wanted someone who was experiencing exactly the same thing as me at exactly the same time. And so began my LONG search for my Mommy Friend Forever or MFF.

I joined a mommy and me group and although I enjoyed getting out of the house once a week and sitting around in a circle singing many versus of 'Little Bunny Foo FOO' I have to say that the mommies in the first few groups were well disappointing. There were the granola moms, the formula feeding moms, the unstable moms, and my personal favorite the neurotic moms.

The granola moms were well granola - they didn't shave their legs (no one did in the first few months postpartum but I'm willing to bet these women didn't shave prior to baby). The formula feeding moms who I kind of resented - feeling they were taking the easy way out. The unstable moms were particularly strange - they would cry during the hello song and disclose the strangest details about their lives. And lastly, the neurotic moms - this breed of moms are convinced that their brand of diaper creme or type of music they listen to in the car ride over to mommy and me will impact whether or not their little darling ends up in therapy in her teen years. Needless to say I did not think any of these would be my MFF.

I found the search for my MFF similar to dating. I had thought that one of the perks of getting married was that I would never have to date again. Never have to worry whether I was wearing an appropriate date outfit or have those painful first date conversations - you know the ones -where are you from....do you have siblings...what was your first pet...

I had a couple of 'play dates' and they did not go so well. I was under the impression that my uniform of a nursing top and stretchy pants was proper attire for a playdate - nope, some moms actually look presentable for such gatherings - very annoying. Also, I just didn't feel that chemistry. It's hard to get a connection - the connection is not just between me and other mom but I am actually screening her to see if her husband would be someone that my husband can also be friends with.

And then if finally happened - it took 11 months of searching but so worth it. We met at mommy and me, our babies are born the same day at the same hospital and it was LOVE right from the start. No awkward annoying conversations - just a simple click. We have similar parenting styles - by that I mean that we are the opposite of neurotic moms - we take our children out to eat and travel with them outside the country. Her husband gets along great with my husband and we're already planning our first trip together.

All those months at mommy and me were so worth it - because the reality is you only need one MFF.

This post is dedicated to my MFF - RP

One year old - we've made it..................

2009-05-26T20:11:00.007-04:00

Last Wednesday my son turned one - it turned out to be an incredibly emotional day for me. I could not believe that a year had passed and that my little baby is a one year old. I remembered how scared I was a year ago and how far my husband and I have come this last year.

The morning of my scheduled c-section I was terrified.It was a fear like I never experienced before. I was never scared of becoming a mother, but my fear was of the c-section itself. At 38 weeks pregnant I was so incredibly uncomfortable that I just wanted the baby out – but nevertheless, I had somehow convinced myself that the spinal would not work, that I would be the statistical exception and I would feel them cutting me open. I thought I would bleed out and never meet my son. I had nightmares that the doctor would forget his scalpel and leave it inside of me. None of those things happened.

We arrived at the hospital early in the morning. After meeting my nurse, anesthesiologist, and saying a brief hello to my doctor I was asked to walk to the operating room – alone – without my husband. As they were administering my spinal all I could think of is that I cannot do this alone I wanted my husband in the room in worst possible way. After about 10 minutes of prepping, John finally came in.I could see his eyes through his surgical mask and he looked nervous. He grabbed my hand and at that moment I felt better. After about 5 minutes I heard my doctor tell John that the baby was about to come out – John grabbed the camera and looked over the curtain. After feeling some pressure like pulling there was a huge sense of relief – and then I heard it. The sound that is so magical, so completely indescribable – it was my son crying. I have never felt such emotion – it was a mixture of pride, excitement and an overwhelming sense of love.My husband quickly rushed to the warming table and snapped as many pictures as he could and showed them to me. After a few moments they brought Ben over to me I could not believe my eyes – he was perfection. They took Ben into the nursery to run the standard tests and we were reunited in the recovery room where I held him for the very first time.

As I held Ben in my arms I counted his toes and his fingers – relieved that there were five of each I just stared at him. He looked back at me as to say ‘what just happened’ and I just held him. The look he gave me said everything – it was as if he knew that I was his mother – he nuzzled on my left side and went straight for my boob. That night my husband went to get me some juice and came back and said that he wasn’t sure is we were the best parents on the ward or the stupidest. When he passed the nursery all the other babies seemed to be in there while their parents slept. Not us – we insisted on keeping Ben with us the entire time. Not only was he in the room with us I insisted that he sleep on my chest – I would not put him down.

The second day in the hospital we were bombarded with nurses and doctors and one visitor that I will never forget. Enter the lactation consultant – a woman in her late fifties with bright blue eye shadow and a hairdo from the 1950’s. She introduced herself as Doris and proceeded to grab my breast. She pulled at my breast, massaged it and evaluated my nipples. I was told that I had good nipples and that either I or John had to rub my breasts a certain way to stimulate the milk. At that moment I felt like I was subhuman – she never asked me how I was feeling – she barely got my name – but somehow this woman managed to attach herself to both my breasts and she was not letting go until she saw something come out. She showed me some breastfeeding positions and told all about the benefits of nursing (all of which I was already familiar with). Her version went something like this “it is your duty to breastfeed; if you do not breastfeed your child will be sick more often have ear infections and will never receive adequate nourishment”. Once she left I tried to nurse Ben – sadly we were not having much luck. After my nipple cracked the nurses brought in the breast pump which little did I know at the time would become my best friend in the weeks to follow. We supplemented with formula to make sure Ben was getting the calories he needed. I remember feeling a bit like a failure due to my challenges with breastfeeding – thoughts ran through my head where I wondered how can I possibly be a good mother if I cannot even feed my child.

On the last day at the hospital they came in to have us sign the birth certificate. If was surreal – we were claiming him on paper – he was really ours. John came in with the car seat and we were off to our new life as parents. When we got home we were greeted by my parents who had taken two weeks off work to help. My reaction to others touching my baby, particularly changing his diaper was odd. I wanted to be the only one to do it – somehow I felt I can do it better. I felt incredibly protective over Ben. Breastfeeding was still a challenge and in those early weeks I would spend about 6 hours our of the 24 hour day pumping – talk about feeling like a cow. One day I was pumping and envisioning a cow with my head attached to it. I don’t know if it was the exhaustion getting to me or the pain pills I was still taking but it was all I do not to say “moo”when someone would talk to me.

Well a year later I still have visions of myself as cow but all those fears and insecurities are gone. Somehow my husband and I have survived our first year of parenthood and our baby boy is a year older. I cannot wait to see what the second year holds for us.

To Boob or Not to Boob - that is the question

2009-05-18T16:34:00.009-04:00

As Ben's first birthday approaches I am faced with the question of to boob or not to boob. Breastfeeding was incredibly challenging for us in the beginning but around weeks 10 - we mastered it. My first breastfeeding goal was six months - well we've passed that. Now as his first birthday approaches I have to decide how much longer we're going to keep doing this. I have to admit I love nursing - I find it a bonding and special time with my son BUT as the saying going ' all good things must come to an end'. Now the question is how to wean. I've read the books, heard both solicited and unsolicited advice and still do not know what to do. Ben is such a good little boy I would hate to take away something from him that he really enjoys - on the flip side I do not want to nurse him until he leaves for college.

This morning I decided to perform an experiment. I fed Ben his usual cheerios, blueberries and banana and then put some cow's milk in a sippy cup. He grabbed the sippy cup with great enthusiasm however when he tasted the milk he looked at me as if I had betrayed him - it was as if he was saying "this isn't wawa (water) this isn't juice and it certainly is not mama juice (aka breast milk). He took another sip - made the world's cutest booboo face and proceeded to throw the sippy cut at my head (ouch - still hurts). He made his point load and clear.

Although I'm ok with nursing a bit longer with the hope that once he starts walking he will be distracted by other things and focus less on my boobs. Still I can't help having premonitions of driving to his preschool four years from now and waiting outside during recess with my boob hanging out and Ben running up to me saying 'boob give me the boob'.

For now we'll play it by ear and see what happens in the next couple of months.........

Intro - about me

2009-05-18T15:28:00.007-04:00

I decided to start this blog two days before my son turns one because I realized that a year has gone by and it all went so very fast. It's hard to believe that a year ago I was so pregnant and so anxious about what to expect. This past year has been both challenging and joyful. How I wish I knew then what I know now - but the reality is nothing can prepare you for motherhood. I feel incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to stay home and take care of my son. I believe that to be a mother is to feel pure joy. Seeing the world through my son's eyes this past year has been nothing short of remarkable. I look at him and still can't believe that my husband and I created this perfect little person. He is a good-natured, adventurous, and loving little guy - and he will be one on Wednesday - it all went way too fast..................